My Beloved Raven,

x

And now i'm covered in the colors pull apart at the seams.

Raven I can't possibly be in love.
I've been trying to ignore it.
I really have,
and I know it's forbidden.

But what can I do when everytime I read their words I drown in them trying to find meaning?

What can I do when their every action makes my skin scream 'Cubitum eamus?'

What the fuck can I do when this person let's me see the slightest sliver of their kindness?

I can't do this Raven.
I need to run.
I need to leave.

Leave before the feelings catch up to me.
And I think they already have: when every time my fingers twitch, they're reaching out for them.
When everytime my heart beats, it reminds me that it doesn't really belong to me anymore.

*This one. This one. This one.*

Is all I seem to hear my brain say nowadays, painting me red in bold, dark strokes.

But do you know what my biggest and most unnerving tell is?

I haven't thought about you. For ages.

And now, here I am– running away from the hellfire at the end of my tunnel, coming back to you.

Can you help me turn myself back to blue?

—《♡》—

This past week has been full of bad and impulsive decisions.

Basically, I'm having a mental breakdown.

WHAT A WEEK. Anywho, I'll be staying off social media (lol, sure. That totally happened) for at least a week and figure out my book and my education.

Ps. Weirdly enough, Colors by Halsey came to my mind when I was posting this poem.