A Reason to Live - Levi Ackerman x OC

16

A week had passed by and I had grown accustomed to our daily routine here at the castle. It was lonely but we passed the time by joining Hange in her experiments. Most of the time Eren failed to do anything showing us that our plan to reclaim Wall Maria wasn't going to be as achievable as we thought.

These days I've questioned myself more. I feel guilty. There were people I could've saved, people I can save if I just use my gift. I was given it for a reason. Yet I'm still putting myself before others. I mean even after all these years here I still feel as if I'm not like them.

"But why did our ancestors run away?"

"Isa you know people fear others with power"

He wasn't lying to me but it just didn't seem fair, "If we have this power can't we just protect ourselves? Why run away"

"Because we can protect ourselves is why we run away. We ran to protect our people. If we fight back we are the monsters"

"It's not fair"

"Life's not fair Isa you knew that from the moment you were born. You know how many people would kill to be able to do what you do"

"It's not like I can do anything. What's the point of having this power if I can't show it off to others"

"The point is to survive"

"I just want to explore. I want to see the world. Why can the men like Emil leave the village? That's a bit sexist"

"It has nothing to do with your gender. You have a duty to your people"

I sat there contemplating what he said. It's not fair out of everyone it had to be her who had to stay and protect the village? There'd never been an attack ever. As far as they knew we were as far from civilization as they knew. Who would even attack. And even if someone tried the tribe was full of other warriors. Our clan is strong. They don't need me.

"Why'd you have to give me this power? I didn't ask to for it"

"It's a gift"

"It's a curse" I turned around and ran way to my secret hiding spot up in the mountains.
That was the last time I talked to my father. Now looking back I regret it. The one time I was needed I was fulfilling my own selfish desires. I didn't deserve to have this power.

"Hey kid"

I looked up to be faced with Eld.

"You know I'm older than you right?"

"You are? Hmm I never even knew. Anyway you okay?"

"I'm fine why?"

"Well your face looked really down and most of the time you're smiling so I just wanted to see what's up"

"Thank you Eld but I'm fine"

He continued to look at me with a considered face and continued "If you say so anyway Gunther, Petra, Oulo and me are going to sneak a drink in the dining room care to join?" We were currently outside the castle in the nearby woods where Eren was trying to transform.

"I would say yes but I think I'm going to sleep after this"

"Sounds good if you change your mind you know where we're at." He started walking away, "Oh and if you ever need to talk I'm here"

"I told you I'm okay Eld" I laughed to lighten the atmosphere. As soon as he left my face fell back to that of concentration.

"I could see your lies from a mile away"