BAND-AID

Four

It's been a year since we encounter then become more than I expect. Since then, he never change, even a bit.

Year had been passed yet I still have this long hair of mine, well perhaps the owner of salon had his vacation that's why those passed months his shops was close, but I have a great feeling that I will make it this month.

Still, I don't have a job so I always staying at the library. Sometimes playing Tetris behind bookshelf just to hide from Mica cause she wants to sneak.

When my phone gets Low Battery I read books while waiting and makes myself busy cause I really like seeing Mica when she can't go out.

Jb became busy, he's working for a project that could help him to be part of a big company that produces famous animated films, and that's why he stop working at the library. Though we still walk home simultaneously- perhaps even years had past our walking habit will stay, as always.

It's a peaceful night for me while resting after surpassing my previous high score in Tetris, not until someone's knock on my door

I pokily stand and walk at the door.

"Hi, wanna join us?"

"How many times should I say no?" she has paper cups on her hand filled with beer.

I shut the door. It's Diana and her colleague, they doing party celebration at our apartment to cost less.

I get back to bed and tryna falling asleep, just for a second a knock comes again.

"It's a no-"

"Okay, goodnight! But, is it too early to get sleep?" Diana ask, I peek on her colleague beside the television and she seems doing something on it, while the rest doing a party thing. They kinda wild.

"Aren't you going to make our apartment a KTV Bar, are you?"

Diana shrug then held the doorknob. "Goodnight."

Good thing the sounds they produce not too loud so I can asleep still.

I'm in a midst of enjoying the feeling of sleepiness when a loud sound burst outside my door. I stood and walk to see. I found out Diana's colleague lay down while all of them laughing at her, seems she bumped at the door.

"Sorry." They all look having a great time.

"Just don't go near at my door again."

Before getting back to bed I reach for my phone.

9: 42

A knock jolted me awake, I ignore it once and even twice. For the 3rd time, the knocks get more loud so I don't have a choice anymore.

"What?"

"Do you have extra clothes-"

I quickly grab a dress from my cabinet and hold it to Diana. I don't open widely the door but I see her face enough.

"Thank you."

I was about to close the door when I see Diana throw down my dress and-

"What the heck!"

She use it to wipe their mess on the floor.

"What on earth happened?" I open the door wider to glance more on situation, their puked is all over the place.

"Diana-"

With her colleague, they go directly to my room and lay on my bed without asking my permission- as if I will let them.

I follow them and try pulling their feet outta bed but I ended surrendering.

I grab my phone and walk out, I try to seek Diana's room where I could sleep but it isn't empty.

"Seriously?"

I walk to the sofa, but something placed on it, their mess. "Looks like I'm going to sleep with my feet this night."

The smell of beer and their puked mix that turn into hilarious scent.

A thought came to me, but I think it's not a good idea.

"Hey good evening?"

"Hey, sorry for disturbing your night, but-"

Tch- it's not a good introduction.

I keep on practicing in front of Jb's apartment.

"You know Diana my roommate had parties and they mess all over, even inside my room. They didn't make exceptions. Can I, you know only for this night please- in sofa, it would be fine?"

That's it!

10:23

I knock.

"Maybe he's already sleeps."

I tend to walk away, but take a pause when I hear the door is opening, I see Jb wiping his eyes.

Do it now!

"Ana-"



"Can I sleep with you?"

Oops. Did I said it wrong?

He startled- me too.

He let me to get inside and guided to the sofa. I sit then he walk towards his room.

"Goodnight everyone! Oh Diana." I look like crazy whispering to the air with matching raising hands.

I was about to lay down when Jb came out from his room. He brings blanket and a pillow.

He's kinda sweet, of course sleeping should have blanket even in sofa.

I stretch my arms to reach him but instead he sit beside me.

"Goodnight."

"Uh-huh."

We pause for a second.

"C'mon, how could I sleep here if you still-"

"Who said you'll sleep here?"

"No?"

He laugh all of sudden.

"Okay, gotcha! Good night too." I stood and walk to his room. Before I completely close the door, I heard him calling me so I stop.

He walks nearer to me and open the door slightly.

"I love you."

"I- I know."

C'mon Ana!

He holds my head and gave me a forehead kiss.

I lock the door and jump on his bed.

I'm shouting inner like "Wahhhhhhhh" and didn't notice I did it out loud.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah! Sorry!"

I woke up cause I get irritated, I feel something wet on my buttocks. I reach out for my phone "5:47."

I step out from the bedroom and I find a bathroom so I could pee.

I still wiping my eyes when I see something on my undie.

"OMG!" my eyes widened.

I got red. I quickly go and see my back at the mirror, unfortunately it went through my pants.

"Is there a stain on a bed too?"

I rapidly run to the bedroom cause if there is, of course I should see it first but I was too slow. Jb is already standing beside the bed and staring at my mess.

"Sorry!"

He looks at me. "Just launder it."

I can feel you, mankind!

"C'mon, don't hold yourself." he still staring at me. "I know you're laughing at me." I whispered.

He walks nearer to me so I step away.

"Why would I laugh?" he hugs me suddenly. "Good morning."

"Not that good."

"Of course it is, cause I-"

"Stop okay, I know how you play your words."

"You smell blood."

I pushed him. "Aish."

"By the way I don't have sanitary napkins."

"I understand." I won't understand him instead, if he has.

"Why are you laughing?"

I suddenly remember how many times I keep accusing him being transgender.

"Nothing. I will get back to my apartment and clean myself, then I'll be back here to clean my mess."

After cleaning myself I get back to Jb's apartment and launder his bed sheet. I eat breakfast with Jb cause Diana still sleeping and their puked became more hilarious, and I don't wanna help them clean.

We walk simultaneously, he escort me until the library, then take another bus to go at his work.

I put my phone on top of the table and waiting for a reply. I sent an application to a NGO last 2 days, so I am expecting to receive the email today.

Just for a second Mica sits in front of me and I know what her next move.

"Okay." I words that make her eyes widened. I am hired so probably this would be the last day I could stay in the library.

I look for books that I usually use as my reference in reviewing a case report. I need to start reading again cause I feel my brain forgot how to work.

In the next following days I start working in new environment. Unlike my past field I work now in a Child Development Program, so more on I encounter cute kids with lack of basic their needs.

I became busy too, so sometimes I and Jb can't see each other except before evening.

I should thank Jb a lot cause he help me to be cured by those sick and now I can enjoy working sincerely, even piggy back ride I can do now to children.

While I'm reading at our office, I received texts again from the exact number who texted me before. I wanna ask Jb about this, but I always ended losing the thought.

"It looks like going to rain?" he keeps on looking above while we're walking. It's too cloudy and we see no stars.

"Probably."

He held me something so I take a pause to see it.

A ticket.

"I'm expecting you to come."

"Of course you should."

Before we parted, he utters his "Goodnight, I love you." I'm going to answer him the same words he said, but ended up saying "Same, I know."

Even once he never hears me saying I love you, too.

It's a busy day, but I must attend the premiere night of his breakthrough project so I am multitasking just to make my works faster than usual.

I should show up 6 pm but I arrived 20 minutes late. The presscon is already started and the red-carpet is already done. It's too crowded and I guess he can't see me in my position.

We all get in the cinema and the films begin to show. I walk to my chair and stare at him.

The show is done and the production staff stand in front and face towards us. I get my phone and write on its screen, then raise it so it could notice by Jb- I know it's prohibited and they will think I'm doing cybercrime.

He sees me and he waved back. A Security Personnel grabs me outta cinema, but still I never let my phone out of Jb's site until I get lost. At least I make a way to show him "I love you" on my cell phone's screen.

Jb arrived and say that I'm innocent.

"Thank you for coming."

"Thanks, too. So good night then?"

"Good night, I love you."

"I-"

"I know." he spoke as if teasing me.

In the next day I got day off though I still wake up early cause I plan to go on salon.

When I get on the bus stop I see Jb so I run into him.

"You don't have work today?"

"Uh-huh. What about you?"

"I'm just going to pass my draft- where you plan to go?"

"Secret."

"Can you wait me before going home?"

"London eye?"

"No, at library."

"Okay, at the library."

He held my hair pulled back and wear a hair tie. He keeps on doing that thing ever since he learned, like while we're walking he just suddenly blocks my way and put a tie on it or even when we're at the library, he pull lower my books just to do ponytail.

I go directly to the salon and get haircut. I succeed this time, I'm kinda proud of the owner cause he back from hiatus.

After having the haircut I see Jb at the store near at the salon. So instead I go to library I wait him outside.

"Hi." I waved.

He look surprise.

"I'm not tired pulling your hair and wear a hair tie on it." I'm just give him a stare.

"But it suits you. You look beautiful."
He added.

"I know. Let's go home."

"I'll treat you lunch."

"It's too early to have a lunch, but-"

"Wait." his phone rings so he looks for it. "Just for a while- I promise to get back, wait me at the library okay?"

"As if I do have a choice."

"I love you."

I thought I didn't 't need to go at the library, but in the end I still need. He received a text from his colleague so he must get back to his workplace immediately.

I sit on the table and play Tetris. Mica isn't at the library, she has a new assistant I guess she's sneaking right now.

The sunlight really likes me, it keeps on following my place, but of course I'm focusing on my play so I ignore it.

I’m in a midst of concentration when I feel the heat of sunlight gone.

Jb blocks it, as always. I stop and stare on his face, no one moves between us. I nailed my eyes on him, he smiles and that makes me realize what to do next. I hold his hand that blocks the sunlight and move closer to him.

I kiss him, a real kiss on the lips. "I love you." I whisper at him.

He seems startled.

I'm still thinking what happened earlier. I feel fluttered, thinking I made the first move.

"Is he thinking the same, still?"

"Are you still awake?"

"Goodnight Diana!"

I hide my face under the pillow and scream...

The next morning I know he still remember what happen with a clear vision and I feel shy so I do everything to hide from him. We only see each other in a bus stop walking home.

"Goodnight, I love you." he keeps on saying goodnight but he still holding my hands.

"I love you too, goodnight."

"It should be goodnight then I love you."

"I love you."

"I'm serious don't laugh at me, I do it purposely cause I want you to remember my last words before sleeping and that's I love you."

"I see, you even place it last in your explanation." I still laughing at him. "I love you."

Now I became fair at him.

Still busy on both of our works but I don't get stress in this Department that much. I still receiving anonymous text and this time I remember to ask Jb.

"Is this yours too?"

"Nope." he continue eating fries. "Why?"

"I thought it's you."

"I only have one contact number."

"Yeah but I don't put name under your number."

He get his phone and dial my number. He get my phone and now he see it by himself that I don't put name's on it.

"Wow, seriously?"

When he back my phone he put name on it "Mankind."

"I know you call me mankind, always. Honestly I can count on my fingers the times you call me by my name-"

"Jb." I teases him repeatedly.

When we riding on bus I see someone familiar but I ignore it.

A week later, we have light schedule and Jb texted me earlier that he will pick me later.

I waiting for him outside but someone else came.

"Hi Ana."

"Lex?"

He's my first boyfriend and the first who broke my heart. Well, I'm not affected anymore. We had a small talk, then he part his way. Just for a second Jb arrived- I don't know, but I feel relieved.

I never thought that my way and Lex will be cross again, just for another day I see him again with Jb and they seem having an argument. I run rapidly and place between them so they could stop. While walking home I keep on asking Jb, but he didn't give me respond and even his "Goodnight, I love you." is cold.

I know he feels jealous cause Lex told me that Jb thinks it's him who always texted me but honestly it's not, he even just arrived at London the same day we had talked.

It is too early, but I already stand in front of his door. When he opens it he see me holding a flower for him.

"I love you, Good morning. Did I say it in the right order?"

He gets my hand instead of the flower.

"I love you. And yes you did, it's great to hear those words first in this early morning." he smiles back. "Thanks with this." he added.

"But you aren't holding the flower already?"

"Thank you, not for the flowers, but you."

He did his cliché thing again, but I don't know why I still get in hook.

"Why you're not giving me a flower? I remember you never gave me since."

"Cause I plan to give you a garden, not a bouquet."

Strike 2 for him this morning.

Time flies fast cause we almost in the 3rd quarter of our 2nd year as a couple. Sometimes we fight for things because of less explanation that's why when we feel each of us don't understand something we do everything just to make it all settled in goods. I admit sometimes I forget that he's waiting for me to walk ahead of home cause I get busy this lately. Good thing he understands me after all. Sometimes I rarely see him too cause of his works, but we try to understand each side.

I often missed his call but I never failed on texting him the reason. The unknown number still texting me and sometimes giving me a call so I plan on changing a new contact.

This morning I have a headache and I easily get irritated. Jb continuously teasing me in this early morning that makes me upset.

In the afternoon I see him standing in front of his door and when he notice me he runs toward me.

He walks me to the old abandoned building and there he show me what he got.

"That all counts as much as the day that I should give you a flower. Instead making into bouquet I realized to plant so it won't wither."

The spot where we first encounter filled with a flowers in a vase.

"I'm sorry." I look at him.

"It's okay, I feel irritated sometimes too, right?"

I nod. "But you don't give me a flower." he added.

"I did one time."

"Yeah, but not every time."

"You want more flowers?"

"No, I'm fine with your hands."

I mock him. "You have your own hands, don't take mine."

I hide my hands in my pocket, then he keeps on looking for it. "By the way happy birthday." I kiss him.

"I thought you forgot."

"Almost." his face turns into a serious look. "Just-" he kiss me.

One night when I get home, I see that Jb isn't on his home yet cause the light in front of his house still off. I call his phone, but he didn't respond. In the next morning he texts me that he didn't go home last night cause they had a party celebration with his colleague's apartment.

But as the time passes I see him doing it often. One time I do on following his way and we ended at a

"Bar?"

I look at him from away so he couldn't notice me, there I witness his mistake.

He's drinking with his colleague, but they also have a side-

"Did you went on a bar last night?"

I ask him directly while we're having a lunch.

"H-huh?"

"Cause I did, and I think I saw you."

"Yeah, I'm with Clark and others. Wait why you went there? Who's-"

"I'm with Mica. So it's really you?"

"Uh-huh. By the way what time you arrived there?"

10:17 their sidechick walk out.

"10:20."

Just tell the truth Jb. I will accept your sorry if you'll confess.

"Ah, why you didn't went on me?"

Should I?

"I'm not sure either it's you so I didn't."

I feel hurt, a bit cause he lie.

I try to forget his mistake and act like what we usually do.

My birthday came and we celebrate with my few friends.

The time that I and Jb spend with each other became less. And the excitement of walking home every nightfall little by little eaten with coldness.

"Jb?"

"Huh?"

"You want to say something?"

I ask him before we parted.

"I love you, goodnight."

I know it's wrong to feel but his words hurt me. I'm still waiting for him to confess.

I get inside the apartment and that's when I realized something went wrong.

New year arrived and I ask him to ride in London Eye.

He express nothing, I feel there's something wrong. I miss the old Jb.

"I miss your cliché things."

"Why missing those if you have me?"

Or maybe I'm just over thinking.

"That's hilarious." atleast we can still smile with this ambiance.

Sometimes I see him out of his mind that's why I always asking him, and that I found how he stress about his works and its heavy pressured that make him feel down and irritated often. I did forget my prejudice on what I saw that night and focus on present.

Not until one night I received a text from unknown number. I wonder cause I already changed my contact but now the unknown texter found my number again and texting me the same phrases it did like before.

I'm kinda worried so I call Jb but he didn't respond, I try Mica but her number is busy. I'm walking home alone tonight cause Jb has something to do on their office so I walk fast as I can.

When I reach my apartment’s door I received a text from someone so I open the door first to put down my bag then take a look on the message.

"I will go home late." Diana.

What? But I hear the shower is open and the light is on too.

I take a pause infront of the doorway, just for a second the shower turn close then my phone ring that makes me startled.

"Hello?"

No one speaking so I ask again. "Hello?"

"Hi! How are you? Did you miss me?"

A man step out from the bathroom. My eyes widened, I feel my heartbeat goes fast and I start to feel outta breath.

"Ana?"

The moment he spoke my name I feel goosebumps. My feet stuck and now he's walking towards me.

I step backward until I get a chance to run away.

I keep on dialing Diana's number but the server keep saying that the phone is off, I try Mica too yet it's same with Diana so ended up calling Jb but still he didn't respond. I keep on running on the road and try glancing on my back. I see him following me so I feel more scare but I make sure not to stop or even take a pause.

I feel out of breath but he still following me, I run to the job location building of Jb but I found out that he isn't there so I don't know where to go anymore.

I run to the subway but I see him ride first so I run back out instead.

I hide on the garbage bags beside the wall while seeing the man walking and calling my name. I cover my mouth so that he will not hear me crying but the smell of rotting garbages made me cough that's help him notice where I hide. I kick him and run rapidly.

Suddenly I remember Clark, the man always with Jb so I run into his apartment building.

When I try to look behind before entering the building I can't see him anymore so I feel relieved. Just for moment a hands grab my waist from behind then he whisper on my ears. "Ana."

I almost fainted but I need to run. I don't want to happen again what he did on me.

I push that man and run to the elevator, I see him walking towards me so I keep on pushing the button. He run but still I'm glad cause he didn't reach the elevator open.

When I get on the 4th floor I walk directly to the door of Clark's room and knock constantly.

I still running out of breathe and perhaps he still following me.

The door open and I see Clark so I ask Jb quickly but

"A- na?"

They're having a party with girls, or should I say with their sidechick.

I lose hope for myself.

Now, I think no one will save me, again.

Jb stood and walks towards me but I run away even from him.

I keep on thinking that maybe I am wrong to prejudice him but am I really wrong?

I see the man waiting for me outside the building so I stop running, but behind I see Jb chasing me.

Wherever I choose to go they will both hurt me.

"Ana... "

My eyes open then I realized I'm already on my bed.

I still remember how he make me as his toy. That man, he used to abducted me for almost a week and did my created novel into reality. He is a psycho that read my works, and suddenly made a thought of doing into actual with him and the writer, which is me.

I stood and walk out from my room. I stop when I see Jb.

He have wounds on his face and even a bandage on his arm. He walks to me but I get back inside and shut the door.