The Pianist

diciassette.

his eyes
a brilliant cerulean
they once glittered with a hope
the hope of naïveté
the hope for infinity
the hope for a fairy tale
to come and sweep him off of his feet
but lay him back down twice as gently

the glimmer is gone
lost on a one way voyage
it has simply vanished
with no search party
no wanted posters
nothing at all

she's the reason why
it was never her fault
nor was it his
but he took the blame
for her
for himself

snowflakes swirl lazily down to earth
gracing his long dark eyelashes
like specks of dust lounging on leather

his skin prickles
it's frigid here
goose bumps up and down his arms
cheeks flushing red
he licks his lips
chapped in the cold

his hands are shaking
teeth chattering
it's freezing here

the wind bites like a hungry wolf
fierce and indifferent
it's gelid here

nobody's outside
save for him of course
not even the children
no laughter rings out
no snowmen are built
no balls of icy slush are hurled
nothing at all
it's arctic here

his breath fans out in front of his face
warm and alive
unlike this bleak siberia he's in
it's polar here

he laughs bitterly
to nobody in particular
this is germany
after all
but it's wintery here

he's alone
but that's how he likes to be
because
being with people
it makes him remember
her
her
her
her
nothing but her

her smooth skin
dark under his finger

her hair
falling in ebony ringlets

her eyes
deep pools of coffee

her laugh
light and beautiful like bell chimes

her smile
crooked but genuine and adorable

her hands
so much smaller than his but so warm

her fingers
delicate slender and slightly bony
running up and down the octaves
eliciting softness and drama
tracing along his jaw
memorising his lips
feathering against his shoulder

he loved her
she loved him
he loves her
nothing

he yells it out
for the whole world to hear
his declaration echoes
echoes
echoes
echoes

not a soul notices
he realises how truly alone he is
how miserable his life has become
he sighs
begins contemplation

memories surround him
like a blanket
bringing warmth and comfort
he wishes she was there to share it

he thinks harder
ignores the numbness
and reaches deep into his thoughts
searching for anything
anything about why they didn't work

it's numbing
can't feel

he thought that she was the one
he was nearly certain
he had done his best for her
but it had never seemed to be enough

his eyes begin to water
it's just the stinging cold
no worries
no feelings

she had always loved that piano
more than him sometimes he felt
it was always there for her
when he couldn't be
it was there for her
when he was the one she hated
when he was the one who ruined her
when he pitched her into darkness ever eternal

she hated him
she loved him
and everything in between
she wanted to cry
she wanted to forget
she wanted to forgive
but she could not see

there was
no light at the end of the tunnel
it was black as midnight
darker even

so she made up her mind

and she waltz
into the arms of the moon
silver crescent surrounded by stars
a smile upon her face
not a thought of him
not even in the back of her mind

and she became infinite

------------------------------------------

so i tried pho. it was good but the restaurant ran out of chicken broth and i had to have beef broth instead :(

i am like in love with chicken btw, so this was very upsetting

also this is ending soon methinks

i like poetry, so there may be more of this type of thing in the future(: what are your thoughts on that? and who would you want me to write about?

love youuuuuuuuu

xx alina