Speak & Listen

NIALL

NIALL

He gave me my phone. There was a pop-up message from Craig. I'm off to Bellington. The message was sent four hours ago. "You went through my phone?"

"I had every right, Adrian. Why didn't you tell me?"

"We didn't want to involve you in something not so lawful but...I didn't want you to see all that."

"Babe, what happened to the no-more-secrets rule?"

"Right. I'm so sorry."

He sighed. "The bastard hurt you. I have the equal intention of seeing him dead."

My eyes widened. "Oh?"

"The bastard harassed, killed and raped a lot of people under our noses. We are never letting that happen again. I hate it when we have to play dirty, but it's what he deserves. We'll be saving more lives than we'll take." Benjamin's face snarled. "Have you found him?"

"Uh...no. Last time we checked, he's in Bellington."

"Why Bellington?"

"I don't know. Gabriel is rumoured to be there too."

"I don't think Gabriel has business with Niall. He hates him too much for that."

"I was taught never to trust so many people in my circle." I looked back into his eyes.

"I like it when you talk like that." His voice dropped an octave lower. He bit his lip afterwards with a smile.

I smiled to myself, that made him even gladder. His right waist wrapped itself around my waist as he jumped on top of me. Our lips touched and as much as I hated morning kisses, I didn't mind that morning. That morning, he had more energy and more sexual drive. He grabbed a condom while we were kissing. Come to think of it, Benjamin and I had never had sex.

He only slept in his boxers, so he stripped it off under the blankets in a second. It took him a while to help undress me. He continued to kiss my neck, now getting more violent. I say this because his teeth were biting my skin and his nails cut my back. He did back-and-fro movements, but that seemingly made him even angrier. I was elevated, ready.

"Shit!" He jumped off me, all so suddenly.

My eyes widened at him. I sat up and looked at him. He seemed furious. "Babe, what is it?"

"I can't...get it up." He glanced at me once, embarrassed.

"Is there something wrong?"

"I've had sex before but..."

I paused. I looked at him, so did he. He could see the tears that were beginning to form in my eyes. I covered my body with his working shirt and wore my boxers in silence. "I'm sorry." For some reason, I apologized.

"Babe wait...it's not you."

I jogged out of the room and went to the bathroom. He couldn't even lie. He saw nothing in me but a rape victim. He was so good at being intimate, I've felt his penis arise before but when I'd think we'd have sex, he'd stop. I don't know what that meant, either about him or me.

I felt my heart beating vigorously against my chest as I looked into the mirror. I saw his bite marks on my skin, on my neck and they did not at all return a good memory. I sank back into a deep hole, where I again remembered everything. The day I was found deserted in the school's restrooms, naked and paralyzed.

I could see my victimized body cold on the wet floor, shivering. I remembered the face that licked mine. I remembered wanting to speak or move, but couldn't. I fought, for one thing, that morning: to keep breathing. I had to keep breathing.