Diary Of A Lovesick, Immature, Slightly Depressed Fangirl (A Dan Howell Fanfic)

FRIDAY, JANUARY 2, 2015

Dear Alec's journal,

It's Dan here! Alec is too busy throwing up to write in you so I have taken the liberty to do it for her. Besides, she was too drunk to know what the hell happened last night. It was super funny, slightly uncomfortable and extremely sexy.

So we bought Alec some alcohol. Vanilla Vodka to be exact. And some orange Crush. She drank the entire two liter of soda with three fourths of the bottle of Vodka. She was extremely wasted. Phil and I figured out that she is a mix of three different kinds of drunk.

She is mostly sexual predator drunk, like me. She is also clingy drunk. It got slightly annoying. She is also a snack attack drunk. She ate an entire pizza, a pack of Sour Patch Kids, three pudding cups, eight yogurt cups, and two packs of Maltesers. She ate her entire stash of film sweets.

But that isn't even the weirdest (and in my opinion, sexiest) part. She was all over me. She was laying her head in my lap, trying to kiss me (and succeeding), and yelling at Phil for having beautiful eyes. That last part made me kind of, I am willing to admit, jealous.

Phil kept yelling at me for making out with her. Although I had a good reason. She is really hot. She is extremely sexy when she is drunk. She has the most amazing personality. She has an amazing taste in music. Her film and video game collection is absolutely magnificent. And her collection of vintage gaming consoles is spectacular. Literally, she has a Nintendo 64, an Atari, and a Game Cube. Those are just the ones I've seen. She has an entire closet of those consoles.

So, I realize that I should probably explain what happened instead of talking about Alec. So, let's get started.

Alec got drunk. Fast. We were watching High School Musical 2 when she got drunk, basically meaning that she sung along to all of the songs. Very badly. She barely knew any of the words and her pitch was so off that I considered putting in industrial ear plugs. But that isn't the worst of it.

She kept playing with my hair through the entire film. She kept messing up my fringe, flipping it up and trying to make it a quiff. It was horrifying. And she was laying in my lap. She kept lifting her head and dropping it back onto my lap quite forcefully. It hurt. A lot. Like, a fucking lot.

After the film, she dragged me into her bedroom. She went in before me, meaning that I was supposed to close the door. I wasn't able to though. Well, technically, my back did shut the door when she pushed me against it and started kissing me. At first, I was trying to push her off, she was touching my neck, after all. But after a few minutes, I melted into it. She was an incredible kisser. I know, typical guy move.

Eventually, we moved onto the bed. WE DID NOT DO ANYTHING SEXUAL. Unless you count her taking off my shirt. But all we did was make out. Well, she did give me a few hickeys. And I gave her a pretty good sized one. Ahem. It was kind of like this:

"You have amazing collar bones," Alec said drunkenly. She sucked on one, making quite a big hickey. Sadly, Phil knocked on the door.

"I will not allow Dan to take advantage of you while you're drunk, Alec," he said. "Why don't you two come out for some hot chocolate?"

"Yay!" Alec squealed like a five year old. She hopped off of me, yelling at me to hurry up and put my shirt back on. Then she dragged me out the door by my hand, only to be met by Phil in the kitchen. He had made three mugs of his special hot chocolate. A nice thick layer of whipped cream with cinnamon and shaved dark chocolate sprinkled on top. Ten mini marshmallows stacked on top, drizzled lightly with chocolate syrup, all topped off with a candy cane. Alec squealed again before grabbing a mug and drinking the hot beverage. Phil handed me my mug, taking a sip out of his as he did so.

When Alec finished her drink, she sat down next to me and stared at me as I drank mine. I stared at her for a few seconds before rolling my eyes and handed her my mug. She squealed yet again, kissing me on the cheek before drinking my hot chocolate. I chuckled at her and checked the time on my phone. It was already midnight.

"Ugh, I'm going to bed," I said.

"Same," Phil said. He took all the empty mugs and put them in the sink. Alec was already falling asleep in her seat at the breakfast bar. I picked her up bridal style, saying goodnight to Phil before carrying Alec to bed. I left the room to change into my pajamas, coming back to find Alec sitting up in her bed, fighting to stay awake.

"Why aren't you asleep?" I asked. I climbed under the covers and she snuggled into my chest.

"I was waiting for you to come back," she mumbled tiredly. I smiled and wrapped my arms around her waist. Within a few minutes, I had fallen asleep.

I woke up this morning alone in bed. I got out of bed to look for Alec, finding her in the bathroom, leaning over the toilet. I pulled back her hair and put it in a loose ponytail. She thanked me quickly before throwing up into the toilet. I went to the kitchen and got her a glass of water. I traveled back to the bathroom, finding Phil patting Alec on the back, trying to make her feel a but better. I handed her the glass of water, getting another small thanks in return.

And that brings us back to the present. I'm sure Alec will come back to write in here later today if she's feeling any better. Hopefully she is. It makes me sad when she's ill.

Until the next time Alec is incapacitated, journal.

Yours Truly,
Daniel James Howell

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Did that suck? Did I get Dan's POV well? Yes? No? Maybe? SAY SOMETHING!

Ahem...

Right. So yeah. Another chapter is completed. Yay! Did any of you guys see Dan's liveshow on the 6th? I was rather upset with the abrupt ending, although Dan's tweet was quite entertaining. So yep. Byezzz!

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Your Inconspicuously,
Andromeda Leigh Barnett