A classic amongst my thoughts are variations on the thought of jumping off of rooftops or jumping out windows. I think because the height just makes it seem more appealing since it would be pretty quick depending on how high up I am. The thought of colliding with solid ground is remarkably appealing to one in a fractured mental state. What is not so pleasant is the thought of what must happen after the collision ensues. For instance: I'm one who never wants other people to have to deal with me. That's why I've mostly opted for overdoses in previous attempts, or the thought of jumping off a bridge is much better. When you collide with a hard surface such as the ground, there will no doubt be a mess, and you can't really prepare for how much there will be. Your body will be in shambles, and likely your head will split open, and there's no telling how much mess that can make. This has only been appealing to me in the sense that the jump or step off of something so huge must feel like such a great release just to know there's no way it could backfire. And sure, maybe if you aren't totally sure, there could be a moment of doubt. But as someone with severe OCD tendencies, the lack of control and knowing there is no turning back and nothing you can do just seems so freeing.
I once had a thought of how I would jump off a roof and do it, but I think it would draw too much attention to me. I don't want anyone to know I'm about to die, and god forbid I traumatize someone by them actively seeing me do it. That would be awful. So maybe not for now, but there is a lot of appeal. That's all.
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The Appeal of a Curvy, Country Road
Short StoryA story about my intrusive thoughts as someone who has struggled with depression and anxiety since the age of 11(I am 18 as of starting this). Thank you for your time. Some of these stories won't have to do with the title but the title is one of my...
