Secrets || Spencer Reid

N I N E

No direct episode. Only the end of "Coda" at the beginning of this chapter.

"HOW? I mean my tests a few weeks ago only showed that I was anemic! What am I supposed to do!" I said, freaking out. "Marissa, it's stage three already. You need chemotherapy," she explains. "Please, don't tell me what I need. I know that I need these things, I've been through it all once before," I say.

"I'll get chemo. But I am not staying cooped up in a hospital bed. I get my round of chemo then I go to work. If I'm working a case, the days I'm off I'll make up the days I missed," I negotiate. "Okay. You need to take it easy on cases. While doing chemo, your body will be going under tremendous amounts of stress. You need to notify Hotch. If he doesn't know about this, and you collapse everyone will know," She says and I nod.

She gives me a hug and we say our goodbyes. I walk out of the round table room and into Hotch's office. I close the door and shut the blinds.

"Hotch. We need to talk," I say, sitting down. "Alright," he says. "My cancer is back, and it's stage three. I will be undergoing chemotherapy, but I will not be leaving this team. I will go out into the field so nobody suspects anything's wrong," I tell him. "Are you okay?" he asks me. "No," I say, my voice breaking indicating I would probably sob.

And that's exactly what I did. Hotch came over and held me in his arms as I cried onto his shoulder. Hotch offered me to stay at his apartment tonight and I accepted. He had to get home to Jack and we both needed sleep.

We were walking out of the office and Morgan had walked up to me. "Have a nice weekend, Shortie," He said, patting on my back normally. "You too, Derek," I said, smiling.

I got in Hotch's car after putting my go-bag in his trunk and we went to his apartment.

When we got there I put my go bag next to the couch and Hotch went to kiss Jack goodnight. I hugged Jessica right before she left since she watches Jack while Hotch is out on cases.

I sat on the couch and pulled out a book I had been reading. It was about different behaviors and triggers/stressors. "Did Reid lend you that book?" Hotch asked. "No, I've had it since college when I studied psychology and criminology," I rolled my eyes.

Hotch sat next to me and I rested my head on his shoulder. "Are we going to tell Sean and mom?" I ask him. "I don't know. Mom doesn't need to worry more, she already hates that we're being put in dangerous situations. And I haven't spoken to Sean in a while," he says. "I say, we tell Sean but not mom," I look up at him. "Yeah, okay. Tomorrow though, you need your rest," he says, getting up.

I get up and pick up my go-bag. I threw it over my shoulder and felt a really bad pain in my back. I went into the bathroom and took off my shirt. I saw a bruise the size of Derek's hand on my back.

"Holy fuck..." I whispered. It was a deep purple/brown and it looked terrible. If you hadn't known my situation you'd think I was being abused.

I opened my go bag and pulled out a clean t-shirt and leggings. I quickly used the restroom and walked back out to the couch. I switched off the lamp next to the couch and laid down, pulling a blanket over me.