shine || ptg hui x (g)idle soojin

XXXI : a leader

"ah! i'm so tired!" i groaned. we have been practicing non-stop for several days now and it is very exhausting! preparing for the debut showcase is not a joke.

"one last time from the top and let's have a 10 minutes break." hyunggu and hyojong leaded us on our dance performance.

when we are about to finish, yanan suddenly collapsed on the floor that made us taken aback. changgu, who was beside him was the first one to help him.

he kept on trying to wake him up but there was no response from him. that made me feel nervous. without any second thoughts, i went out of the practice room and went to the lobby to call an ambulance.

"please call 119 right now! my co-member collapsed in the practice room! please!" i said as i reached the lobby.

"hui, is there anything wrong?" our senior, btob's leader eunkwang asked me. he may be passing by and saw me being bothered by something.

"my co-member collapsed in the practice room while we were practicing." i said with a nervous tone.

"you should call an ambulance right now!" he commanded to the lobby attendant. "let me come with you."

he accompanied me to our practice room and yanan was still unconcious. what should i do now?

the intercom suddenly sounded and the lobby attendant said that the rescuers are already on their way in here.

"hang in there, yanan." i gently said those words.

in less than a minute the rescuers brought a stretcher and placed him there. all of us were anxious, not knowing what to do. i ordered hyojong to look after the boys and jinho will accompany me to the hospital. my hands and feet were shaking, for a moment, my mind went blank.

"it's okay to worry but not too much. we've known yanan for a long time now, right? he may look soft on the outside but i know that he's strong inside. nothing bad will happen to him, i trust him." jinho patted my back.

"hop on. i will accompany you both to the hospital." eunkwang sunbaenim told us.

"is it okay? don't you have any schedules? we might be a distraction to you." jinho shyly said.

"don't worry, i cleared my schedules today so don't waste any time and let's hurry up to the hospital. your co-member will need you there." he explained. we didn't have any choices but to hop on in his car.

***

"good thing he was brought here to the hospital before his fatigue worsens." the doctor said. i feel bad for seeing yanan lying in a hospital bed.

"fatigue?" jinho curiously asked.

"yes. we checked his vitals and we also gave him a full body examination and his results made me diagnose him with fatigue. he was experiencing extreme fatigue and like what i said earlier , his fatigue could worsen to a chronic fatigue syndrome. for now, we gave him eszopiclone to make him stay asleep. he needs to stay here in the hospital for half a week so he can have some quality rest. call the nurse if you need something." he explained before leaving.

"the company requested a private room for yanan, it might be dangerous for him to stay here in the public ward, that's why. he will be transfered there later." eunkwang sunbaenim came back from the information center.

"thank you, sunabaenim." we both said and bowed.

"it's okay. it was the company's desicion anyway." he humbly said. there are still some popular idols who are still humble.

"still, we want to thank you for helping and coming here with us." jinho insisted.

"hyung!" we heared a shout from not afar. i saw the 8 boys together coming in our direction.

"hyojong, i told you to look after them." i kind of scolded hyojong.

"they insisted very hard so i can't do anything but to accompany them here." he explained and massaged his nape.

"hyung. don't scold hyojong. we are the ones who insisted so why give the blame to him?" woosoek defended his older co-member.

"that's what leaders always do, jung wooseok." eunkwang sunbaenim said seriously.

"ah, that's right, sunbaenim." wooseok said and the other boys teased him.

"stop it, we're not here in the hospital for fun." hongseok said, "how's yanan's condition?"

"thankfully he was brought here in the hospital before his fatigue could get worse." jinho explained to them.

"that's why he keeps on complaining to me about his headache. i thought it was just a simple headache at first that's why i just told him to drink a medicine. i never knew that was already a sign of fatigue." shinwon sounded so worried.

"i also noticed he wasn't that energetic like before." yuto added.

"for now, what's important is that he's okay now. we just have to wish for his fast recovery." what changgu said made me feel a little bit relieved.

***

"here, have some soda." eunkwang sunbaenim handed me a soda in can. i received it with two hand and muttered thank you.

"thank you for accompanying us until here." i said to him. frankly speaking, it kind of feels different sitting next to someone who isn't in your level. i mean, btob is one of the reasons how the company became big. sitting beside to our senior just feels unordinary.

"i already told you that it's okay," he humbly insisted, "being a leader isn't easy, right?"

leader. it sounds like a simple word but it holds a lot of meanings.

i sighed deeply and nodded my head. "sunbaenim, what is a leader?"

"a leader? a leader is someone who guides his\her followers to also become a leader. in our industry, the entertainment industry, when you say you are the leader of the group, the majority would think that, oh he's the leader of the groups so his co-members would always follow his lead and he will always represent the group. but for me, being a leader doesn't work that way. that's right, the members would follow my lead, i always represent the group but still, there are times that those won't apply." he answered in such a serious tone.

"can i really call myself as a leader?" i sounded disappointed. yes, i'm disappointed in myself. how could i call myself a leader if I can't do what a leader really does.

"there are no requirements on becoming a leader. you don't have to force yourself to become one, it would just come to you naturally or either you are born to be a leader." he said and tapped my shoulders.

eunkwang sunbaenim's words placed my heart in comfort and placed my mind at ease. those weren't just simple words coming from him, those words hold a deep meaning.

"I should get going. my manager is looking for me." he stood up and said.

"ah, yes. thank you for your help today, sunbaenim. i will keep those what you said in my mind." I bowed at him.

"don't just keep it, you have to use it." he said before leaving.

what he said was right, I shouldn't force myself to become a leader. one day or someday, it would just come to me naturally.