We Are Broken (Tayley)

Rehab

It's been forever since I've updated and I'm horrible, I know. School is back busting my ass again, but I'm going to try super hard to update regularly. Anyhow, I hope this isn't too disappointing. I love you all!

Eventually, I had looked up directions on my phone at a red light. The building wasn't too far out of town, even though it was still farther than I'd ever gone on my own. I regretted going at such an awful time, but I needed to be there. I squinted at the door through my windshield. They didn't open for another few hours and I wasn't about to leave my car and sit outside for that long. There were obviously already people inside, but I wouldn't try to do anything about it.

I sighed heavily, lighting a cigarette and taking a drag. I really had no idea what I was doing, but even I knew it needed to be done. While I waited, all I could think to do was leave my keys in the ignition and blast music. I went through most of my current pack of smokes, holding a fag in one hand and picking at my cheek with the other. It felt like nothing at all had changed when the time to go in finally came. Like I hadn't moved, the songs were the same, and the parking lot was still empty.

Opening my door, I stumbled out and walked uncertainly into the building. It looked like a drug or liquor store, medium sized with grody white walls. Really, the only differences were the faded blue letters across the top: JOHNSTOWN COUNTY REHABILITATION CENTER.

A surprisingly pretty girl with short red hair and a lip ring was sitting behind a desk near the middle of the room's back wall. "How can I help you?" She asked a bit unenthusiastically, but how could you blame her?

"Do you have space, or like a program or something that I can do for the next week?" I asked, feigning confidence.

"Oh, well, usually people call ahead and have at least a bit of an idea of what they're going to do, but getting help is always important and I'm sure we can fit you in somewhere. What do you need help with?"

I wasn't about to tell her that it was meth, so I took the remainder of my pack of cigarettes out of my pocket and set them on the desk in front of her. "Smoking. I don't like it, and if there aren't any open programs than I can just sit in a room, something like that. I don't need help quitting, I just need a place where I don't have the temptation to keep smoking." That part was true.

"Alright, I can get you worked in now. Will you be paying with cash, credit, check, or money order?" She asked, typing things I couldn't see on her computer. I told her credit and handed her my card. While she was getting things taken care of, I sent Sarah-Beth a quick text that said, 'If my mom asks, I'm at your house.'

A few minutes later, she texted back, 'Okay, but why?''. I didn't have time to answer. The redhead girl had already directed me to a room to stay in for the next week.

* * *

I hadn't done much in the past week and it had dragged on for so long I almost missed school. At least I had friends there. It was finally over, though, and Libba, the redhead's name, was talking to me at that same desk.

"I know you said you only wanted to stay for a week, but are you sure you want to go out there again? You can always stay longer if you feel like it's necessary." I had to refrain from laughing at her. I had barely talked to anyone and the program was basically a trust circle of people talking about the struggles of smoking. I felt sorry for most of them, honestly, but I felt like I would snap if I stayed put much longer.

"I'm good now, I'm sure. Thank you though. Maybe I'll see you around." I smiled at her, picking up my bag and exiting the building. I hadn't been outside in a week and it almost blinded me at first, but I got in my car and let my eyes adjust as I drove. At a red light, I called my best friend and set the phone on my thigh, putting it on speaker.

"Why hello, Hayley. It was sure nice of you to drop out of my life for a week." She said when she picked up.

"I know, I suck," I answered, "But I missed you. Meet me at Tuck's and I'll explain myself?" I more so asked than told, with a hopeful hint to my voice.

"You better. I'll be there in ten." She hung up and I smiled. Tuck's was this semi-fancy restaurant a few blocks away from the school. I wasn't that hungry, but I was done eating shitty rehab food and I was in the mood to treat myself.

Sarah-Beth had gotten there before me and was waiting outside the door. I hugged her as soon as I saw her, and began explaining myself once we were seated. I hadn't gotten far, though, when I froze. After a week of being gone, I could see the difference in Sarah-Beth. She was a lot thinner, which was concerning because she was a size two before I left, and her face had broken out. She was also paler with the exception of the dark circles under her eyes, point being that she looked awful. She was still gorgeous, but she looked awful. It wasn't like that with Taylor. He didn't look as healthy as he did a month ago, yet he was still so attractive.

Sarah-Beth turned to see what I was staring at. She looked back at me to say, "Hey, look, it's Taylor," like I didn't know that, before looking back him to shout his name before I could stop her.

He smiled crookedly at me, walking over. He still terrified me to no end, but I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. I had missed hearing his voice and seeing his face. As much as I wanted to hate him, I didn't think I could live without him.

"How's your face," He asked me, using a few fingers to push upwards on my chin so he could look at me.

"It's pretty good." I spoke, almost surprised at how stable my voice was staying. He nodded.

"So, Taylor, we're meeting up tomorrow, same place as usual if you wanted to come. Hayley will probably be there." She spoke and I shook my head.

"Hayley will not be there," I said, correcting her. Just the lingering smell of meth on Sarah-Beth and Taylor was enough to make me want to give up and start smoking it again, but I was working to suppress that. It was like Taylor. As much as I disliked it, it was addicting and I felt like I needed it to function.

Taylor was still looking at me. "Let me know if you change your mind. I'l be there." With that, he was back to his own affairs. Staring after him, I wanted to punch myself harder than Jeremy had. Staring at him, I realized how screwed I was.

Again, I'm so sorry it took so long! I'm awful and I suck. I'm sorry. It was really just this chapter I didn't want to write though, cause I felt like writing about rehab would be boring and I ended up cutting most of that stuff out anyway. I hope it's not too much of a letdown. I love you all!