Breathe (Oikawa x female!reader)

4 - Restrooms are intimate, don't you think?

I refuse to take any shit from anyone. I always had a soft, gentle nature growing up, as that's how my mother raised me, but over the years I learned that if you let people say whatever they want to you, you'll just end up being an easy target. I've always had a more fiery nature, arguing with my mum whenever I disagreed with her or didn't want to do something, standing up for myself and others if anyone tried to pick a fight etc. because I don't feel threatened by other people. They can all go fuck themselves. Yes, I struggle with anxiety, but the moment anyone tries to cross me, I won't hesitate to put them in their place. The only person allowed to treat me like shit is myself.

I walked into a stall, locking it behind me and hanging my blazer on the door. I sat on the toilet lid and placed my bag between my legs. I opened the secret compartment space inside and pulled out a small, clear plastic bag. Xanax. I used to get them prescribed for my anxiety attacks, but when I kept needing more refills than normal, my doctor became suspicious - nosey bastard - and found out that I was abusing them, so he stopped the prescription, and re-prescribed me with a different drug.

Right now I was feeling nervous, so I needed some xannys. I use cocaine when I'm depressed or need to feel a rush, and xanax when I'm manic/anxious to calm me down; textbook self-medication. I luckily managed to save a whole bottle of xanax before I got sent to rehab, convinced everyone that I didn't have any left, and then hid them in my room somewhere my mum couldn't find it if she tried to clean in there. They're 0.5s, which is pretty low in dosage, and the recommended daily limit is 4mg. I popped three into my mouth and swallowed them with a small sip of water. I first started off getting high on just one or two pills, but obviously my tolerance increased the more I abused them, which caused my prescriptions to run out quickly. I used to take small handfuls 0.5s just before I got sent off to rehab, and bought 1s or 2s off the street if I wanted to save the prescription meds. An eight week long detox probably brought my tolerance down a little, so I played it safe today and stuck to three pills - I really don't want to be off my face on the first day back, and besides, I need to try and make these pills last: if my money starts mysteriously disappearing because I'm buying again, my parent's will almost certainly notice. I need to get my hands on some cocaine soon, too, and I knew exactly who to go for some.

"(Y/n), you in here?" I heard Darcey's voice call from outside my stall. Shit.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I called back, flushing the toilet and stuffing everything back into my bag's compartment, "Just changing my pad before class," I lied. Being a girl has its quirks. People automatically view you as being harmless, which lets you get away with so many things, ad another brilliant benefit of being female is the period excuse: it gets you out of practically everything.

I unlocked the door, and stepped out. "Oh, right, that's fine, then," Darcey replied, the hint of panic in her voice subsiding.

"You know, I don't need you to follow me everywhere. I'm perfectly fine," I said as I washed my hands, a hint of annoyance in my voice.

"Actually, yeah I do. Mum and dad said-" she began. I turned off the sink, grabbed my bag, and stood an inch from her face.

"I don't care what mum and dad said, they're not here right now. So no, you don't need to do anything," I spat. I was incredibly on edge. I could feel my heart beating against my chest. It was slow, but pounding hard, as if straining against the veins and arteries holding it in position. Then, all of a sudden, I calmed down. "Sorry, I got frustrated," I took a few steps back and brushed my hands against my jumper, "thank you for your concern, but please stop watching me like a hawk," I said, and turned to leave.

"Hey," Darcey grabbed my arm. Shit. Did she see my pupils dilate? No, no way, I took them three minutes ago, the most they could've done by now is slow my heart rate, not affect my pupils yet, no surely not-

"I love you. Don't forget that," she whispered. Phew. I loosened my strain against her grip.

"I love you, too".