Roller coaster 🎢 ~ (Tom Delonge) [Discontinued!]

PART NINETEEN

(Y/N)'s POV

The next morning, I woke up feeling lighter than ever. After texting Billie last night, I had gotten the most sleep I've ever had considering the last couple of days. I'm starting to wonder if Anne noticed it too...

Actually, Anne most likely took note to my recent shift in attitude. She's noticed that I've been less quiet, almost chipper even.

However, I do think it's because I am avoiding Tom. I just don't think I could talk to him face to face. But after everything Mark has told me, I'm slowly starting to feel like the bad guy.

Ironic isn't it? The man goes and kisses another woman and suddenly I'm the one that's getting guilted into coming back to him.

But no! Not me, not this independent woman. It's just something I simply cannot tolerate. Even if it is Tom, even if I got the chance to be held in his arms again.

Anyway, I really don't want to think about that. I have other things to look forward too. Billie and I still have movie night planned tonight at his house.

I was feeling like getting fresh air after keeping myself locked away for the past couple of days. Of course, this seemed to have surprised Anne when she caught me trying to leave the house.

"Hey... Uh, where ya' headed to
(N/n)?"

I spun around on my heels like a deer in headlights.

"Just going out, why what's up?"
I leaned against the wall as I slipped my shoes on.

"Ah, I see. It's just that I haven't really seen you leave the house is all...".
Her sentences dragged into silence.

"Is everything okay with you?? You're not sick are ya'? Y'know you're really worrying me here. I mean going out? Are you sure you're not running a fever?"
Anne says hysterically as she places the back of her hand on my forehead.

I swat her hand away.

"Yes! I'm fine. There's nothing to worry about. Look I'll be back soon, I'm just need time to myself," I sighed and closed the door before she could let out another peep.

I took a deep breath. Anne is a good friend but geez, she can be a worry wart.

I start my walk and soon enough I have sort of dazed off and landed myself in a familiar neighborhood. My legs seemed like they were on autopilot as I looked across the street.

It would seem that I instinctively walked back home. Or rather, to my old shared apartment. Not long ago, I had Anne pick up my things from Tom.

I wonder how he is now?

Tom's POV
February 17th 1995

It had been a full week since I have seen (y/n).
Every night I go home to what used to be our shared apartment.
Everything reminded me of her...
Even though Anne came by to pick up her stuff, I couldn't help but keep two of (n/n)'s things.
I kept one of her cute little sweaters that still smelled like her and a small velvet box.

When I came home, I made a beeline for my closet. I reached my arms over to the top of the closet and felt for a small box.
The box had been tied in a neat bow.
Upon opening it, I felt a pang in my heart.
The box opened up to a bunch of pictures (y/n) had taken of the both of us. Some of them just consisted of me.
But I only bothered to look at the ones that she was in.
I knew that there was no point in relishing in memories like this but I couldn't help it.
I missed her.
I missed her so goddamn much.
I picked up a picture that was taken recently.
It was a picture of us sitting on the balcony. She had the brightest smile and her eyes were shut as I kissed her cheek. I held the photo close as I felt my heart becoming heavy and tears threatened to swell from my eyes.
I took the photo and slid it into my wallet.
I sat down on the edge of what used to be our shared bed.
It used to be warm when she was here...
I took a final glance in the box.
Something caught my eye beneath the litter of Polaroid photos.
It was a letter.
I flipped it over and it was signed and addressed to me.

To Future Tom xoxo

I felt my palms get sweaty and I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding. From the looks of it, the envelope did not seem to be in new condition. So, she must've written this a long time ago.
With shaky hands I slowly ripped open the letter with care.
I was scared I would ruin its condition.
However, it seems like I have a knack for ruining things lately...
I scanned through the letter.
My eyes burned as small tears rushed down my cheeks.
I looked a thousand times over at her familiar handwriting.

12/24/1994

Dear Tom,
Hey you! I decided to write you a letter today. Such a surprise, right? Well actually, this box is supposed to be the surprise and it's for you. And you only.
I've decided to keep all of our photos! Mainly the ones that really mean a lot to me, so take care of them!! But Tom, I know you will, so I don't have to worry about it too much I hope.
The only problem is, I haven't figured out when to give it to you... Whoops!
I was supposed to give this to you by Christmas, but I already got you another present.
So maybe I'll hold this off until our anniversary! That way I could store even more pictures!
I hope you understand that the point behind this surprise is to show how much I care about you. These pictures mean the world to me. And well, you also mean the world to me. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is I love you. I love you to the moon and back. You are my stars and planet and I hope you receive this gift with much love and care.
Anyway, I know this letter is getting long so I'll cut it short.
I wrote a poem for you too!
It's on a different sheet though, hope you don't mind.

With so much freaking love,
(Y/n).

I read the last sentence and I felt my throat swell up with guilt.
What have I done?
I don't deserve (y/n), not after what I've done. I still love her and I hadn't stopped loving her.
But there has to be a way to fix this.
I'd give anything to see her again. No, in fact I had to see her again.
I held the letter in my hand and held it to my lips.
I'll make it up to you (y/n), I swear it.