HER PERSONAL ASSISTANT

Chapter 4

Ray's POV

I was sitting on the loveseat in the corner of her bedroom while she slept.
Her face had me captivated and I thought back on the day's events. I honestly did not expect the day to be so good and without any arguments because the tension which was present between us yesterday had suddenly reduced drastically. I don't know if it was because she saw me after the nightmare or if she was pitying me, and I do not handle pity very well.
She stirred in her sleep and snuggled more into the blanket like a kitten. She slept so peacefully that I wanted to stay longer, just to be with her.

But I couldn't..

I left in a few minutes and realised I didn't have my damn car with me.
Yeah me !!! I seriously am a dumbass.

I started walking and unknowingly, lost in my thoughts I walked into the woods and shifted into my midnight blue wolf..

Ahh !! It felt so good to let my wolf out after such a long time..
My Wolf's name was Noah. It actually sounded pretty soft for a wolf but he is never short of aggression. He is just the opposite of my human form in the wolf one.
I let out a loud howl and started running around the woods until my eyes landed on a wolf who was whining in pain, there was a rogue on top of him and I acted on reflex and snapped the rogue's neck.

I quickly changed and wore my clothes and carried the injured wolf to the infirmary near Ember's house after he had shifted to his human form. I knew that the hospital had a few wolves who helped when there were injuries. As soon as I entered the hospital I smelled a wolf and his neck snapped towards me. He hurriedly took us into a room after arranging for a stretcher and ushered me out.
I later realised that I should inform Ember as he definitely was a member of her pack. As I picked up my phone the doctor rushed out and growled,
"Was it you who did this to him ?" His eyes were glowing, means his wolf was struggling to come out.

"What kind of a dumbass do you think I am to injure a person so severely and then bring him in the hospital myself ? Huh?"

Realisation dawned on him and he visibly relaxed but I was angry.
Just because I am a rogue doesn't mean I am a crazy psychopath who goes on a killing spree, killing any visible wolf who is a part of any pack.
This incident actually made me realise how hard it would be for the pack to accept me as their Alphas mate.
I was slipping into those depressing thoughts again..
I hadn't had taken my medications since I met Ember. I thought I was improving.
But sitting outside the hospital room in that uncomfortable chair, realisation struck me like a lightning that I was not any stronger just because I met my mate.
I was broken, I am broken, I was weak and I still am. I was crushed..
Crushed by the weight of my past, my memories, my thoughts..
I couldn't sit there without drowning in my thoughts and I left the hospital in a frenzy..
Calling Ember was long forgotten and I didn't know where I was going.

I went home instead of wandering on the streets like a mad person and splashed my face with cold water. The photos of my long gone family were on the wall which prevented me from breaking down further.

I had lost hope.
I was lost.
My soul, my mind everything was lost in a never ending dark alley. It had no end, no door only a ray of light passed in randomly and soon went off. It was only when the light came that I thought that I wasn't a lost case, that I too would be happy and have a family. The light was Ember, it wasn't gone but covered, maybe for timebeing, maybe for forever I didn't know. That is the only way to describe my life right now, a never ending dark alley.

My phone rung and I jumped from my seat on reflex.
"Mr. Atkins ?"
"Yes. Speaking."
"Yes, I am speaking from the Cole's Companies and I wanted to inform you that you have got the job.
We expect you at the office at 9 am sharp.
Please don't be late."
"Uh- yes sure ..
Thank you."
I hung up. I wasn't expecting this, not after the way the interview went.

I went to sleep after treating myself with with a bar dark chocolate.
I went to sleep but offcourse I was again awoken with the horrendous nightmare.
Everytime the nightmares were different. Either I was being told I wouldn't get a mate or how I would suffer or I relived the moment when I got to know about the fire and my family's death. Today it was the last one.
I was scared and today my mate wasn't there to calm me. I checked the clock and it was already 4 am so I got up and went to the rundown gym near my home.
Why the rundown gym ? Well I was a jobless guy right now and even with the  previous job I wasn't able to go to a very nice and luxurious gym, but this gym fulfilled my necessities and I was happy.

I put on my boxing gloves and started punching the bag, I was seeing red. I wasn't able to control myself, I didn't know why I was angry or why I was punching it as if it had harmed me personally.
The owner of the gym came and made me stop. He brought me a chair to sit with a glass of water. The gym was still empty, nobody came so early, even I am not a morning person, but today I couldn't go back to sleep and I knew it.

The owner of the gym, Jake was a good friend of mine and he even helped me with my financial crisis, letting me workout for free, though I payed him back later on.

"What's wrong now. Who got up this early to piss you off huh ?"

That made me crack a smile.
"Well, what can I say, my nightmares just love me."
"Hmm, come on. Get up, work out, now shoo!"
I just laughed and continued to work out.

I was slapped hard on my head and she screamed  in my ear. Jane stood there behind me with a playful look on her face..

"Long time no see, Lily !!" She had resorted to calling me that ever since she found out that I loved lilies.
"Ew.. that nickname is awful, I'm a man for god's sake!! And stop screaming in my ear, I've already gone partially deaf because of you !!"
She laughed and slapped the back of my head before going over to the weights.
She is a badass and my best friend. She has always helped me through thick and thin and she was also the only person who did not freak out and leave me alone after I had a panic attack when I had company.
I would be ever grateful to her and she is one of the few people for whom I would trade my life without a second thought.

"Wanna go to the cafe ? My system is  seriously running low on coffee. "
" Yeah, how do you drink so much coffee a day and say you are lacking coffee !"

She is a coffee obsessed person and basically lives on it. Her mother always pesters her about it. Her parents have basically adopted me and make me forget momentarily about the lack of family in my life.

We went to the cafe and she ordered a latte with a bagel and munched on it while I nibbled on the double chocolate muffin in my hand.
Double chocolate muffin, my little sisters favourite. She used to love having them as a kid and my parents always avoided giving her more than one, but that girl had me wrapped around her little finger.
I did not realise but tears threatened to fall and I rubbed my eyes vigorously, but a tear still managed to slip out. Jane looked at me with soft eyes and rubbed my hand soothingly. She always did a great job in calming me and today was no exception.
The bell on the door made a noise indicating a customer and I looked up to see Ember in sweatpants and a large T-shirt which was a bit too large, but she still looked like the most beautiful person on this entire world.
She only ordered a black coffee to go and was out of the shop in just a few minutes.
Was she that disturbed that she did not even notice that I was there !!
For a human, it's possible that they don't notice someone but for a wolf especially a mate the other person instantly smells his /her mate.
Maybe she was just too embarassed to be seen with me in public and that single thought was enough to deflate my mood for the day or maybe days.
Jane noticed this and silently paid for the both of us and nudged me with her shoulder to get up. This was the best thing about her. She gave me time and did not question me immediately.
I gave her a smile and held in all my emotions, I know I was bottling up all my emotions but I had not choice.
I am going to tell Jane about the werewolf fact about me, but not so soon.

I reached home and once again I was alone with my thoughts, pills and my sorrow and I couldn't bottle it anymore. I bursted out crying and wailing like a baby and that tired me out enough to fall asleep, but only this time I was dreaming about the mesmerizing eyes of my mate rather than the haunting nightmares..