Hidden glances

10. I just want what I want

I am so thrilled you all are enjoying this story, I have so much planned, so please continue to support it. Also: mature content in this chapter.

It's been a few days since Fitz and Olivia's conversation. They talked on the phone quite a bit. Never anything too serious, they just liked to hear each other's voices. It was Friday morning, and Fitz had the day off. Well he chose to have the day off. Because today was the day that he and Mellie had to talk. He had to do it. She had the day off too. The kids would be in school. It seemed like the perfect time for it.

So he walked out to the sun room, seeing his wife sat reading a book, a cup of coffee in her hand. She was surprised to see his entrance, he never came in here. This was her space. "Can we talk?" He asked. He felt nervous. He knew it wasn't going to be a nice conversation. She nodded. Closing her book.

"Mellie. We are a mess." He said simply. She nodded. It was true. "We're not working. Not anymore." He didn't know what was the right way of saying all this, but he knew she could see where it's going. "You're leaving me." She said simply, coldly. "Mellie please let's just talk about this. We are not happy. Are you happy? Tell me truthfully, are you happy with me?" He asked.

She thought about it. "I'm happy with the life we made." She said. "But with me? Of course you are happy with the kids, and the house and your job.. but me? Are you happy and content with our marriage?" She just looked away from him. "I know it's difficult, but Mellie, we don't work. We work great as a team, as friends, but as husband and wife we don't work. And it's not fair on either of us, and it's especially not fair on the kids. We have to put them first."

"And how is their mom and dad being unable to stick it out for them, the best for them?" She said. "Because giving them two happy parents and homes, is much better than one unhappy one. They're not blind Mellie, they can see we don't talk. We don't get along. And as they get older it's going to get worse for them?"

"Imagine what people will say Fitz. This would be so bad for us. We can't get a divorce, I won't allow it." She shook her head. "Are you actually putting your reputation before the kids." He asked. "No I'm just saying what I think is best. How can we do this? What would our families say." He knew this would be the response she would give him, he was prepared for it. "People would talk, for about ten minutes and they will be already on to the next piece of news Mellie. Our families won't mind, it's not 1950 anymore, people get divorced. It's not like we're never going to see each other again, we will raise our kids. And we will be happy. For a change."

She took his words in. He was surprised to see her even think about it, because if he was being honest he was prepared for her to not listen at all and just storm out. "You could meet someone. Someone you can be happy with. Have a life with. A life that you enjoy." He said softly to her. She was still the mother of his kids. "Is there someone else?" She then asked.
"This isn't because of someone else. Okay? I didn't make this decision because of anybody else. I want us both to come to an agreement that this is a good thing. It's something that has been a long awaited. We tried everything, we fought to make it work Mel. But sometimes just things aren't meant to be."

She nodded. She knew in her gut, he was right. She knew they were bad for each other, the respect and love as friends for each other was still there, but they never had the electric, romantic love there. They never would have worked out. "I know. You're right. I guess I just never thought either of us would bring it up. We got so good at ignoring and pretending, that it felt...

"Normal." He nodded. "Yeah, normal. And it's not. It's exhausting. I'm exhausted Fitz." She sighed. "So am I. Come here." He opened his arms, as he hugged his wife. For the first time in months. "I'm sorry." He said. "I am too."