Before You

Epilouge

It was a week ago when I realized that I regretted so many things. Na sana ay ginawa ko na lang ang mga gusto 'kong gawin. Sana na-experience 'kong tumakas noong highschool, lumaklak ng madaming alak, magkaroon ng boyfriend. There's so much thing that I wanted to do but I was busy. 

I was busy trying so hard to become a painter because that was what my parents wanted me to be. I don't know what I want for myself so ayon na lang ang pinursue ko. I paint and sell my works at my small shop. Gumaling ako sa kakapinta at sa tagal ko ng ginagawa 'yon ay nasanay na at nakahiligan ko na din.

"Ma'am, pwede po ba akong mag day off bukas?" paalam sa'kin ng bago 'kong employee. 

"Sure, hindi naman ganoon ka-busy kapag saturday." 

I didn't want her to think that i'm a strict boss, I have hired so many workers this month and none of them stayed long. Ang rason nila ay hindi na daw sila nakakapag day off. I wanted to change after that. I was always so busy painting and attending meetings, kaya hindi ko sila mapayagan mag day off, wala kasing magbabantay ng shop.

Bumalik siya sa counter at ako naman ay nagpatuloy sa ginagawa ko. Nagkaroon ako bigla ng idea kanina nang makakita ako ng dragonfly na dumapo sa bag ko. 

I stood up and observed my work, naka-bun ang buhok ko at nakatupi ang mga sleeves ng sweater ko para hindi malagyan ng pintura. Nakalimutan ko kasing huwang magsuot ng puti kapag magpipinta ako. 

"Coffee po," kumatok si Shania sa pinto bago tuluyang pumasok hawak-hawak ang kape. She's the first one to bring me coffee and i'm starting to like her and her presence. 

"Oh, thank you. Saan ka nag-order?" tanong ko bago niya inilapag 'yon sa maliit na table.

"Um, dala po niya." ngumuso siya sa may pintuan kaya napalingon ako doon. 

He's here. After not contacting him for days and not showing up on my check-ups, he decided to come to me. Tinanggal ko ang apron at sinabit sa may coat hanger, I excused myself from Shania and grabbed the guy's arm to bring him outside the shop.

"What are you doing here?" tanong ko sa kaniya, ni hindi pa ako nakakapag hugas ng kamay. My face was heating up from his sudden appearance. 

Ilang araw ko lang siya hindi nakita tapos ganito ang mararamdaman ko. I tried so many times to stop liking him but it was so hard. Parang kaunting layo lang ng hahakbangin ko ay hinihila niya ako pabalik. He was like a magnet that is very hard to avoid.

"You're too obvious, Cia." napairap ako sa sinabi niya. Of course, I was blushing like crazy.

"Pake mo ba! Ano nga? Bakit ka nandito?" tanong ko ulit.

"You didn't show up that's why, you got me worried. I asked your brother but he didn't want to tell me." God bless my brother! My brother knew that I was having private check-ups with a different doctor so he wasn't worried.

Gusto ko muna kasing mapalayo kay Wesley, he's making this hard. I wanted to stop liking him because i'm dying. I don't want to be attached to him in any way so it would be easier for the both of us, well siguro para sa'kin lang.

"Why do you care?" inirapan ko ulit siya, he frustratedly shuts his eyes before letting out a deep breath.

"I'm your doctor, Cia. Malamang may pake ako." of course, he's my doctor. Just my doctor.

"And I don't need you anymore, so you can go now." tinalikuran ko siya para pumasok na muli sa shop ko. Shania has her back facing the door so she would not eavesdrop on our conversation. I like how respectful she is, which is also one of the main reasons why I hired her.

"Cacianna." I stopped when he said that. He only says that when he's mad. I turn around with my brows furrowed.

"Ako. Hindi mo ba ako tatanungin kung kailangan kita?"