Let me tell you a story
Its about a girl
Who loved a boy.....
In the process of learning to let go
She learnt the secret to Love
She learnt a million ways to Love
A/N: It seems writing from experience is slowing the story down and messing with my head cus I honestly don't know everything that's happened so this is the part where my imagination comes to play. I'd still add a bit of real life experiences but most of it is imaginary.
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Waking up to a massive headache is the worst way to start the day especially for someone like me who hates medicine and adamantly refuse to take pain killers.
I honestly don't know how people just manage to swallow it with water. It's sooo blahhh. I wish all drugs can be given as injections.
Add in a little argument with my mom and my day automatically gets ruined and 30 minutes later I end up where I am now. On my bed crying for no reason. I'm such a crybaby. I mean I'm broken but that doesn't mean I have to cry about it.
Trigger warning*** I didn't put it before and I felt really bad so here it is now Stop reading if you can't handle it and move to the next chapter.
I'm so fucking tired Why can't I just be happy? Maybe it'll be better if I didn't exist?
Just like that, I'm hit with a not so genius idea I grab my phone off the nightstand and search for best ways to suicide. I may be tired of life but I do know that I definitely do not want to die by burning, drowning, strangulation or suffocation.
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"Wrist cutting
Wrist cutting is sometimes practiced with the goal of self-harm rather than suicide; however, if the bleeding is sufficient death may occur. In the case of a non-fatal suicide attempt, the person may experience injury of the tendons, or the ulnar and median nerves which control the muscles of the hand, both of which can result in temporary or permanent reduction in the person's sensory or motor ability or result in chronic pain."
Yeah.... There's no way I'd be bold enough to cut my wrists deep enough to die from it.
"Worldwide, 30% of suicides are from pesticide poisonings. The use of this method, however, varies markedly in different areas of the world, from 4% in Europe to more than 50% in the Pacific region. In the US, pesticide poisoning is used in about 12 suicides per Year."
Not bad....
"Overdose is a method of suicide which involves taking medication in doses greater than the indicated levels, or in a combination that will interact either to cause harmful effects or increase the potency of one or other of the substances.[citation needed] In the United States drug overdoses represents about 60% of suicide attempts and 14% of deaths. The risk of death in overdose is about 2%."
Perfect!!! All I need is the perfect time.
Yeah it's official I need to see a therapist.
Knock*
"Who's there?" I yell out rapidly wiping my tears. I can't deal with being forced to tell why I'm crying right now.
"I need you to go get something for me" My mum's voice comes in through the door.
"Oh ok" I quickly get off my bed and start to dress up. I really need a break especially since it's the weekend.
I utterly loathe going out in the streets I hate it Why? Maybe because people I don't know keep calling me and I have to pretend I don't hear them. Why can't I just stay home?
Well I buy what my mum wants and head back home.
My life is a mess I need to sort it out ASAP.
Getting home, I see my mom talking to my brother. I hurriedly drop the stuff I got and try to escape only to get called back.
"Ma?" I ask
My mistake I wish I just shut my mouth cus she goes on a long af rant about how I need to change my career choice again.
You see when I was younger I always talked about becoming a medical laboratory scientist just like my uncle although everyone told me to go for law or journalism cus I talk a lot (ouch💔) and apparently it'll fit me. So after a while my cousin (who's a lawyer) convinced me to give law a try so I did.
And now my mum wants me to switch back. With the way my day is going, I honestly don't think I can wait to plan a perfect suicide attempt. I just wish I could sleep and not wake up again.
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So this is it! Please I'd really appreciate if I got suggestions or a bit of criticism. Tell me what you think Please vote and comment. Love you all😘
