I Take It Black

Church Boy

Worst of all was—I'm ashamed to say—the church boy date. He insisted on picking me up, which based on my dating history I was totally against. I needed to be able to get up and go when I wanted. I protested at first, but let my mother convince me there was nothing wrong with a man with old school values. He did seem a little different from the other men I'd been dating. Hell, he'd approached me in the grocery store when I thought I was looking busted. Our phone conversations--let's just say—when they ended, I felt more inspired than turned on. He refused to tell me where we were going, so, when in doubt dress to impress. I was fly. He'd only seen me once so I had to show him what he was really getting into. As usual the curves were popping. I even had the girls on display, showing enough cleavage to make Hugh Heffner blush. He arrived to pick me up and when I opened the front door his eyes dropped to my chest. He got to stammering and stuttering, I couldn't help but smile.

The car ride was quiet, but his eyes dropped to the rising hem line of my dress as I crossed my legs and I knew I had his attention. He seemed a bit nervous, but I attributed that to him being too attracted to all my lusciousness. Ha! The joke was on me. We rolled into the parking lot of his church and my jaw dropped into my lap. Who does that...bring a date to church? Not that I minded a little Jesus in my life, but can we get to know each other before we delve into heavy topics like religion. He hit the nail on the head—insisting that he pick me up—because if I'd drove myself I would've busted a U-turn so fast in that parking lot Jesus himself would've heard my tires screech.

I played nice because my momma raised me right. I wasn't going to act a fool in the house of the Lord. The closer we got to the door the more church boy started to sweat. I never want my presence to cause someone distress, but he got what he deserved. I hoped the mothers of the church ripped him a new one for bring a loose girl to the church. I spent the next two hours pulling up the neck line and tugging down the hem of my dress. I was so self-conscious I couldn't even pay attention to the service. What I did notice, I had the attention of just about every man in the church. That poor pastor didn't stand a chance preaching a sermon with me in the house. During altar call every woman was eyeballing me. By then I was too through and decided to have a little fun. They wanted to stare so I gave them something to stare at. I took these curves and all their glory up to the altar; let their husbands get a real good look. I should've known better than to play around in the house of the Lord. I wound up laid out on the floor, crying and telling God all my problems. They had so many lap blankets wrapped around me—covering the places my fluffy goodness decided to pop out—I could've curled up and took a nap. Church boy was an idiot for bringing a date to church, but I am grateful, because I left with brand new outlook on life. I needed to stop looking for love and find myself.

**********************************Desperate for some feedback.**************************

Even if you rip it a part, let me hear your thoughts. (nervously biting my nails)