𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐞 𝟑, 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟗
"So let me guess, you killed Tok?" Tanya busted out in front of everybody at the trapp.
We was all in the living room, passing blunts and serving the fiends that wanted to tend to their needs.
"I did." I rolled up, looking dead at her.
"That shit foul mane." She shook her bead sitting back.
"Fuck he do?" His cousin asked mugging me from the door.
"Who the FUCK y'all think y'all talking to? On some G shit."
"We just wanna know. You was the last person with him."
"Yea. And I busted his motherfucking brains out." I looked at Tanya and his cousin. "Na ask me why I did it. Since y'all got so much to fucking say."
"Why?" His cousin said lowly.
"Put some fucking base in yo voice nigga. You had a base a minute ago."
"Why?" He said a little louder.
"Cause he raped somebody I happen to care about. But scratch that he raped a woman, period. Youn do shit like that. And Toby you got three lil girls. Fuck you so defensive fa?" I said looking at him.
The trapp was quiet after that. Don't know who the fuck these muhfucka's think they talking to.
"It was that girl I beat up wasn't it?" Tanya asked.
"Yea. You lucky ian come back for yo ass either. I advice you to shut the fuck up Tan-
"Wasn't gon happen P." Big Lo mumbled, laughing.
"And I was gon blow yo big ass too if you tried some shit. Y'all got the game fucked up." I stood up ready to leave. "Fuck with ha, anybody can meet they grave early. Ion give a fuck. That girl been through enough already."
"Na get the fuck out and serve my shit. Y'all sit y'all fat nasty asses in here all goddamn day."
𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧
Standing in the shower, I let the water run over my face as I pondered in deep thought. After I boldly kissed Izzy, he left and hadn't been back. Had I messed up that bad? I couldn't believe I did that.
It's like I wasn't even scared of him yelling at me anymore. I admired it. I wanted him to. I was becoming this new person with him and I enjoyed it. I felt alive.
Israel was someone that I could be around all day. I enjoyed feeling alive with him.
With him not coming back, I knew I set off an alarm in his head. With me turning 18 in a few days I figured.. you know? Heck, I don't even know.
Finishing my shower, I wrapped myself and my hair in towels. I walked downstairs to get some water because I was definitely dry in the mouth after my steamy shower.
Drinking the water bottle right there in the kitchen, low and behold, Izzy walking in the kitchen. He moved around me to put his keys on the rack and briefly looked me up and down before looking away.
"You cooking tonight?" He asked with his back turned, opening the cabinets.
"Uh sure. Anything in particular?"
"Nah don't matter." He mumbled. I nodded to myself before going back upstairs and got dressed.
Tears started to fall as I realized he was really going to sit here and pretend like nothing happened.
That kiss meant a lot to me. First of all, I finally got the courage. Courage from kissing him resulted in becoming a courageous woman. I overcame my fear of Izzy and now adored him but most importantly I overcame my past.
With this new courage I had, I could tell my dad everything i've ever wanted to tell him without being scared.
While Izzy pretended it never happened, I thanked God it did. I'm sure he knew how I feel about him now and I don't have to hide my feelings. I expressed myself through that kiss. I was grateful God sent an angel like Izzy my way.
I know he isn't the ideal angel but in a way that's what I seen him as. My guardian angel. I was not proud of him taking lives to protect mine but I was thankful that I finally had someone who cared about me that much. So much to where he would risk his freedom, to set it straight I couldn't be messed with. And I cared about him too. So much so that I wanted to always be here, with him. We both needed each other.
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