Falling (Again/Together)[SLOW UPDATES]

Chapter One

Chapter One (Jamie)

I don't know why I'm doing this stupid thing, I don't understand why Dr. Jane gave us this assignment. It's ridiculous and it won't help at all, I should really check where she got certified as a therapist…

I don't even know what to write about, I'm not a writer, my mom is. "Jamie Steele Miles? Are you the daughter of Dylan Steele Miles, the best-selling author of 'Crying and Writing'??", is the reaction I get every time I say my name. I wanted to change it to my father's last name, Tristan Rogers, the one who raised me. Not the one whose DNA I have. He isn't my dad, I never even met him, he died way before I was born! Tristan is my father, not James.

My mom gets angry when I say it. Well, the times that she's actually home to hear me, and not at the hospital working. She gets even angrier these days, because of the divorce.

"We got married because it seemed like the right thing, not because we were in love", is what my mom keeps telling me, but I don't believe one word. They used to be so in love, or acted like it. I keep watching old home movies to try and find out where it went wrong, why she had to break my dad's heart and tear him and me apart from each other. Tristan understood me, even though we are complete opposites in everything.

My mom and I are opposites as well, but not the good kind like with my dad. I don't remember a time without fighting, punishments and slamming doors. Scratch that, year.

My mom dragged me to Dr. Jane about a month or two ago, she said it would help us. Dr. Jane is a family counsellor , she "deals with our types of families all the time", is what she said: "but I never saw a case so complex and difficult to solve". Maybe you should stop seeing us as a case the… After a couple of sessions, she suggested we'd both write journals and bring them to the sessions, we will then read a bit of what we wrote and discuss it. And as I said at the very beginning, it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my seventeen years of being alive. Why should I write down my emotions on a piece of paper? The only person I talk about my feeling with is Dawn (but we call her Dark). She is the only one I can trust in this lame world, so don't expect any heart breaking stories from me in here, for that go to my mom, I bet she just finished her next bestselling novel.

But, I can't go to the next session with an empty notebook, I really don't want to fight in front of Dr. Jane with my mom again so here we go:

My name is Jamie Sky Steele Miles. I know, it's quite a long name. But apparently every name has its meaning. I was named after my father who died as I said before my birth whose name was James Steele (thus the Steele part of my name as well), Sky is the name he agreed on with my mom before she changed her mind and Miles is her last name. Next year I can change it to Rogers if I'll want to, which I do and I will. I'm the daughter of Dylan Catherine Miles and James Everett Steele, but I don't know much about him. When I was younger I wanted to know everything about him, but every time I mentioned him my mother froze and refused to talk about him, so after a while I gave up. I'm 17 years old and have a small group of friends… That's it really. Besides from going to school and hanging out with friends I don't really do much.

Oh who am I kidding, that's something I would say to my parents or an adult. I do whatever the hell I want to do! And I'm a pro at it, I never got caught. My mom keeps trying to but I'm too damn good.

Like today, well it's past midnight so technically yesterday, there was this party at someone's house, and if I were to ask my mom if I can go she wouldn't even hear me out and would immediately say no. But as they say, what she doesn't know, can't hurt her, right? It was at about 11 p.m. when my mother got called to the hospital for an emergency, so she had to leave. My mom is the chief of surgery at the hospital she works in, graduated top of her class from med school and all of that while having a child. You could say my mother is perfect, that's what everyone says, but not me. To me, she isn't this amazing woman who accomplished everything she wanted while raising me, she's the woman who focused on her career instead of her daughter. She left me with Tristan or my grandparents all the time and went to college and work, the only time I got to see her was in the morning and when she put me to bed. Now you can understand why our relationship isn't as good as with my dad. I spent so much time with him that I only had him to connect to, he was the only one there for me.