Pod (On Hold For Now)

(Four)

Zen didn't know why it happened, but Rex stopped coming. He no longer snuck in to see her. And at first she was worried, but then she started to get kind of...angry? She had never felt angry before so she wasn't sure if that's what she was feeling. But she was doing terrible at testing and she was afraid Jane would notice.

After counting a week without seeing Rex, she decided it was better to forget about him. She would move on with her pod life and forget he existed. But even as she told herself that, Zen knew it wasn't possible. She missed him and she wanted to see him.

But he seemed far away now, and more alarms went off. Loud, blaring alarms that Zen knew nothing about. But she suspected someone was attacking the guards because the testing doctors liked to talk to each other in quiet voices. Sometimes she heard names of guards and words like death or murdered. But they would glare at her and she would begin testing once again.

Worst of all, Zen couldn't sleep. She kept having the same nightmare over and over again about black figures in the night. And Rex was always there.

After two long weeks of not seeing him, Zen wondered if she should ask Jane to go outside her pod. To explore she would tell her, but in reality she wanted to find Rex. She worried about him and then half the time she wanted to smack him.

Just ask her, Zens conscience told her, come on what will it hurt. Zen told herself the same thing and she prepared herself to ask Jane the next time she saw her. At least once a month, Jane came in to test Zen herself. Zen would ask her then.

It'll be all good, Zen told herself, she tell me yes and then I'll be with Rex and we'll run off together...

Her thoughts trailed off as she thought about leaving and then coming back, which made her a little sad. But she knew if she wanted to go outside her pod she'd have to get over it.

So she waited for Jane, but as days passed she grew lonely and often at night she'd sit where she sat before when she talked with Rex and wait. He never came though. She always hoped he would but he never did. Eventually she'd crawl into bed and have the same nightmare all night long.

It wasn't all bad though because now that more and more alarms were going off there were less tests than ever. They were sent to her tablet but no one ever checked if she actually did them. Except Jane. She didn't know Jane knew she wasn't doing her tests until she walked into the pod with a stack of papers and dropped them on Zen's desk.

"I don't except laziness, or slacking. I expected more from you Zen." Her eyes were stern and her face was set in a grim line. "We're going to sit her together and go through everything." Zen almost groaned out loud. But then she knew this was her chance to ask.

She opened her mouth to speak, but Jane talked over her. Zen could barely get a word in and they had gone through half the booklets. Zen knew her chance was slipping away, so she just blurted it out.

"I want to explore outside my pod." She rushed out her words. "I want to see what the outside world looks like and then I'd come back here. I don't want to leave, I jus-" Jane slammed the next book down with such force Zen jumped.

"No." Then she continued on to the next problem. But Zen wasn't ready to give up.

"Why not? I promise I'll come back." Zen was hopeful that maybe this would convince her. She opened her mouth to talk about how it would good for her learn from the outside world, but Jane seethed.

"I said no. You are never leaving this pod. You're too unprepared for the outside world. I never want to hear this again." Each word was said through gritted teeth. Then she huffed and continued on with the lessons.