Kiss me

One

Dear diary,
Mother always told me to remind myself of how proud she was of me for always being so strong especially after the passing of my pet fish who I loved dearly.
She praised my lack of tears when I dug it into the soil of our enriched garden, planting lavender seeds with its slimy dead body in hopes to grow life out of death.
I was young then.
And mother was very much alive.
When she  passed, my father's health fell soon there after.
I remember walking into his chambers, the smell of death, eradicating my nose as I made my way over to his nearly lifeless body.
"You must promise me to marry a strong man that is worth leading this kingdom." He whimpered out, attempting to place his infected hand over mine.
I pulled my hand away and nodded silently.
In my head I schemed of ways to run this kingdom and turn everything upside down.
From the mass mistreatment of women and the large gap between the poor and the wealthy, I was ready to seek the change my father turned a blind eye to.
"Promise me." He begged, his breath labored with every word he managed to say.
"I promise there will be a strong leader sitting on the throne that was once yours." I replied.
"And it will be a man." He added.
I stayed silent and stared at what was left of the light in his eyes.
His lips were cracked and pale from
malnourishment.
His skin was sweaty but dry and distressed at the same time.
Seeing the sight of him finally looking weak and vulnerable was so refreshing.
My father was no good man.
He lead wars that ended the lives of innocent people, he has stolen the food from the tables of needy families and use to beat Mother and I senseless when things didn't go his way.
I was ready for him to die.
Excited even.
How delighted would I have been to smack the last bit of life out of his decaying body.
Instead, I fixed my dressed and made my way out of his chambers, leaving him alone to die.
After his death they cremated him and sprinkled his sinful ashes all across the body of water that surrounded our kingdom.
They claimed that his spirit would guard the waters and protect the kingdom from the outside while the new king would protect it from the inside.
Hilarious.
My father couldn't even protect his ego whenever I questioned his leading tactics, how could he possibly protect the kingdom while dead.
I recall taking a seat on the throne, once I was alone.
The main hall was large, the ceiling reaching an outstanding twenty feet and hanging from it, two large chandeliers with large ball shaped crystals, reflecting rainbow spots off of the walls that were painted gold.
The throne was placed perfectly at the center of the room, the power it held nearly vibrating off it.
The seat was terribly uncomfortable.
It had nothing but the smallest bits of sheep wool in between the wood and the velvet cloth.
The golden accents were beginning to chip off and it creaked the moment I sat on it.
"I shall order a new one, preferably pink." I chucked to myself.
"My first order as the King." I said out loud, my remark bouncing of the golden walls.
"I'm afraid that won't happen miss." A small voice chimed in, disrupting my future plans for the kingdom.
It was my maidservant, Jen.
She made her way over towards me, tripping on the steps that lead to the thrown and catching her balance before dusting herself off awkwardly.
I held back an sinister snicker.
"And why is that?" I questioned once she helped me off the uncomfortable seat, my large dress folding at my feet as I did.
Jen kneeled down and fixed the hems that we're out of place.
"The written rule requires for you to marry a man since you do not have any brothers. A woman is not allowed to rule the Kingdom." She got back up dusted my shoulders.
"It's not written that a woman can't be a King." I shot back, making my way down the steps and heading towards the nearest exit.
"It isn't, but they wouldn't dream of leaving such a great responsibility to a woman." She followed after me, her heels clicking quickly against the marbled floor as she caught up to my side.
"Don't you get tired of being told what you should and should not do as a woman while men get to walk around and do the fun work? Don't you have any aspirations besides being a maidservant for the rest of your life?" I stopped and turned to her, looking down at her small face.
Jen was young and took in the position as my maid when her mother was traded off by my father as a sign of peace after a war he started with a neighboring empire.
She was only 16 and already dedicated her life and loyalty to the Kingdom, refusing to ever disobey any order given to her.
There was even a time where I had to beg her to stop cleaning and to join me on my walk to the village so I could get her a gift for her birthday.
She refused.
Looking up at me with her doe eyes, she avoided my question and guided me towards the exit.
"I overheard that the king from the kingdom of Rae is coming over for dinner tomorrow. Rumor has it that he's handsome." She let out a small squeal.
I rolled my eyes.
"This concerns me how?" I opened the door for her and she shook her head, suggesting I go before her.
"This is the man you're going to marry!" She jumped and clapped with joy once we were back in the main hall.
My heart dropped to my stomach and I felt ill.
Marry?