Kiss me

Six

Dear diary,
Today marks the ninth month since my fathers passing and the arrival of Finneas and his younger sister Billie.
In this time we shared together, Billie and I became the greatest of friends.
Sharing secrets, stealing baked goods from the great hall before dinner, and once Billie became proficient in reading, we read a chapter of Romero and Juliet every night before bed. Routinely, we would hold each other tightly in a long and warm embrace before she pulled away and kissed my hand ever so tenderly then disappeared off into her chambers.
During the moments I spend without her I yearn to see her again, to hold her again and to attempt at the kiss we almost had that one time during dinner.
This morning I received a package from the village.
It was wrapped in brown paper and tied neatly with thin white rope.
I gasped when I opened what I received.
It was the painting of Billie I had requested months earlier.
It was small but large enough for me to identify who it was right away.
I caressed my index finger over the painting, running over the smooth oil that made up Billie's face as best it could.
Albeit it looking a little off from the image I had in mind, it was perfect.
The eyes were a clear blue mixed in with the smallest hints of green, her lips were blushed and velvet looking, her skin had dashes of white blending into the pale base color, so it gave the illusion that the painting was glowing.
I kissed it.
Like how I yearned to kiss Billie.
My lips pressed lightly against the painting of hers.
I imagined the cold surface being warm and feeling like skin instead of a rough canvas. I felt my cheeks warm up at the fantasy behind my closed eyes of Billie wrapping her strong arms around my waist, pulling me deeper into the kiss, wanting it as much as I did.
A soft knock against my door made me jump and quickly hide the painting under my pillows.
"Good morning Princess." Jen opened the double doors and curtsied before walking in and shaking her head.
"This room is absurd." She complained while staring at the mess of books and clothes all over the floor.
"What is it that you need from me so early in the morning?" I whined.
"It's breakfast!" She stomped her foot frantically on the petal of a blossom that managed to find its way far from my window.
"Goodness I thought that was a rodent!"
"Rodents aren't pink." I snickered.
"It's been a very busy week for me." She complained.
"And why is that?" I questioned, picking up my books from the floor.
"Have you forgotten? Your marriage party is on Friday!" She cheered.
I froze.
Marriage PARTY?
"But, Finneas hasn't even proposed to me yet." I complained.
How could we be having a marriage party with no engagement between us.
"And that is why breakfast is starting so early!" She gave an innocent smile, not picking up on the worry in my voice before running back down to the dining hall.
I followed after her, a lump in my throat growing large as my heart fell to my stomach.
Finneas was at the table already but Billie was nowhere in sight.
His face was concrete as he stared at his food in disgust, stabbing the chicken quietly but violently.
"Good morning." I said placidly as I made my way over to my seat at the end of the table.
No reply.
We sat in silence as minutes went by, our food growing cold as we lost our appetite, knowing we would have to marry for power, not for love.
"Princess." Finneas broke the silence before pushing himself back on his seat and walking over to me, never making eye contact until he got down on one knee.
Royal subjects quickly dashed into the dining hall along with the cooks and maids and the head of both staff, Jen.
I looked down at him, shaking my head ever so slightly, begging him with welling eyes to not propose.
His face twisted into an uncomfortable frown as he reached for my hand.
I gasped and hot tears rolled down my cheeks.
"Will you marry me?" He mumbled under his breath, shoving the golden band engraved with emeralds onto my ring finger.
"I don't have much of a choice do I?" I sobbed quietly.
"Tears of joy!!!" The subjects celebrated as Finneas pulled me up off my seat and into a tight embrace.
"I'm so sorry." He apologized while petting my head. "We'll work through this."
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Dear diary,
Billie has been locked in her chambers since Monday.
The only time the royal subjects claimed to have seen her was during ungodly hours such as 4 a.m or 11 p.m, when most of the palace is asleep except for the knights and maids.
I miss her so much.
Every night before bed, I pull the oil painting out from under my pillow and kiss it gently, wishing there was some way for us to lay together as lovers.
It's Thursday evening and the sun sets quickly today, marking the first day of fall. My last night of liberation.
Tomorrow is our marriage party which ,in what Jen claims, confirms our marriage to the church, establishing the tie of our Kingdom to the Kingdom of Rae.
I wanted to pack a satchel with nothing but you, my diary, and Billie. Confess my love to her and demand that we run away into disappearance before tomorrow morning.  
But would she reject me? Call me insane and report me to the palace for trying to escape my marriage
Or worse.
Accuse me of having such feelings for her and have me hung in front of the entire kingdom for loving a woman.
Why was she in hiding?
Did I somehow make it too obvious that I enjoyed her company a little too much?
Did I make her feel forced to hold me in her arms, to kiss my hand, to read to me before bed?
All of these thoughts leave me restless for the entirety of the evening and throughout the night. I forgot to go down to dinner and Jen couldn't remind me for she busied herself with decorations for the party.
Before I knew it, it was Friday morning.