Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow

Ambitious Girls Part One-April 1921

Margaret and Clara

The knock at her door startled Clara awake instantly. It wasn't Eddie's soft rap. He's the only one who approached her door these days, and usually only when she had a phone call or a delivery or there was a message from her father. A wave of nostalgia hit her as she stumbled out of the blankets. She missed the days when the knock was just as likely to be Jimmy's fast knock accompanied by a 'Hey, Clara, open the damn door' or Richard's precise rhythm and his voice rasping 'It's Richard. Harrow' every time, like there was another Richard who regularly knocked on her bedroom door. She moved warily. She also missed living her life with less dread.

Margaret stood at the door. She took a deep breath as it opened it, revealing Clara dressed in pink silk pajamas with her hair in a messy braid over her shoulder. She looked about fifteen. It made Margaret's sense of purpose waiver.

"Margaret?" Clara asked, worried about what circumstance could have possibly brought Margaret to the door to her room at this early morning hour.

"May I come in?"

Clara stepped out of the way, and Margaret walked into Clara's room for the first time. Suddenly it struck her that this girl grew up here, in a room on the eighth floor of the Ritz-Carlton. Bookshelves were crowded with pictures, keepsakes, and books ranging from children's novels to classic tomes. The door to the balcony was open, letting in both a sea breeze and the sound of the relentless beat of the ocean against the shore. The desk was covered with notebooks, a typewriter, and a stack of files.

"Is there anything wrong? Clara inquired, her voice heavy with sleep and concern.

"No." Margaret took a deep breath. "Clara, I wish we had taken the opportunity to become better friends before I came to ask you this."

Clara tilted her head. She owed Margaret a favor, so it mattered not what she was going to ask her, but now she was very curious."Margaret, you once did a very great kindness and I am indebted to you. What do you need?"

"Oh," Margaret was startled, uncertain what kindness Clara could be speaking of. "Do you know who Marie Stopes is?"

This was an unexpected twist, Clara thought. "I've read Married Love. It was passed around between the women in the War Office like a dirty novel."

Margaret nodded. If Clara read the book she wouldn't be terribly shocked by her proposal. "So you've also heard of Margaret Sanger?"

Suddenly the conversation began to make sense to Clara. "Margaret, do you need a birth control device? I know there are underground clinics, I might know someone..." Because I'm in need of one myself, Clara thought, and have been writing letters all week.

"Yes, dear, I do. This doesn't seem a fortuitous time for your father and me to have a child."

Clara was thrown by the idea of her father having children with Margaret. It seemed wrong, somehow. It was the time in her life for nieces and nephews (Tommy would turn four over the summer), her friends' babies, and thinking about when and how she might have a family of her own. Not for baby siblings. But of course, she thought, Margaret was only five or so years older than she was. There was no reason Margaret and her father wouldn't have children.

"A friend in the temperance movement shares friends with Mrs. Sanger and has booked me an appointment today in New York. I made two appointments, Clara. One for myself and one for my stepdaughter. I lied and said you plan on marrying this summer."

Clara blinked hard.

"I know about your mother, dear, and I also know what it is to be a young woman. The world doesn't look kindly on ambitious girls," Margaret waved her hand at the desk covered in writing materials, "nor young women determined to carve their own path. If you think this would help you make your own choices in life than I hope you'll accompany me."