Inferno of God

3: In Which Hell Must Handle The Effects of God's Punishment

The very next day, Satan's hypothesis was confirmed when Asher unexpectedly fell very ill with an ailment resembling that of severe food poisoning. It was quite a shock for Hell's residents, because despite Satan doing his best to prepare everyone, that is simply how humans react during a crisis.

Asher started the morning sitting in a tree in the lumber portion of Hell, making crude comments to the group below, often towards the leaves. Many of the other residents also sat on nearby branches, examining the fungus patterns on the leaves. At this point, it was hardly for any scientific purpose, most just found the subject interesting. Je'sus sat nearby, silent as usual, but just as engaged, and then, without warning, all Asher's maniac observations and profanities seized, and he fell completely silent, save for the occasional groan. Naturally, Je'sus stopped what he was doing and turned to him in order to make sure he hadn't gone selectively deaf from fascination, but no, Asher clung to the tree as though losing its grip would kill him. It was perhaps the oddest thing such a negative person could do.

For lack of a better thing to do, Je'sus did his best to get his attention, "Asher? Are you okay over there?"

As though he had triggered it, Asher vomited, twice in fact. They both would have probably found the resulting squeals and general noises of disgust from those below amusing, if it weren't for what happened afterwards. All at once, Asher let go of the tree completely, allowing his body to tumble from it in a fashion so limp, he might as well have been dead.

Je'sus leapt out of his branch hurriedly, ignoring the sharp rush of pain in his legs as he slammed to the ground, silently thanking God that the fall couldn't injure either of them. By the time he reached the bottom, a man introducing himself as a former epidemiologist was already examining him.

"Shouldn't we move him somewhere?" Je'sus asked, pointing to nowhere in particular.

"Give me a moment, but yes, after I examine him, you're going to have to help me take him to his cabin, do you know where it is?"

"Yeah, I do, is it alright if I go inform his roommate? He's over at the pigpens and should probably be told about this."

"Yes, of course," said the doctor with a nod, and Je'sus ran off into the forest.

In hindsight, he supposed he should have expected it, but after telling Adam about the incident, he quickly packed up his things into a cloth bag and came sprinting after him.

Together, all three helped to carry Asher to his cabin, at which point a small crowd had formed, marching behind them like a funeral procession.

He was tucked into bed and looked over by several more doctors, all while the witnesseses retrieved and removed sick bowls and gathered supplies the caretakers asked for. A young girl soon offered to fetch Satan and Baal, but was stopped by her older sister, who grabbed her by the arm before she could leave.

"No, we have no idea how their bodies may be affected by germs."

The original epidemiologist laughed, "Food poisoning rarely, if ever spreads through person to person contact, no matter how severe, I'm sure they'll both be fine."

"Well how do you know that?" Frowned an older woman, "You said yourself a few minutes ago that you don't have the proper equipment to treat this. I distinctly remember a girl offering to get something and you telling her that."

"Yes, but, you see, we still have all our medical knowledge from Earth."

"Do you really? Tell me, how long has it been since you last practiced on a patient?" And with that, a fight broke out.

Ignoring the yells and witty comebacks of the crowd, Adam slid over to the girl who originally offered to inform the demons. "Go," he whispered. The girl looked up at him, but scurried off with a wave of his hand.