Inferno of God

10: In Which Damned Souls Visit Hell For The First Time

Though it took a few extra days, Je'sus and Adam completed the boat, and were able to successfully test it in a small pond at the edge of Hell where the thankfully untainted water supply was kept. The thrill of knowing the boat would, against the odds, work for their purposes, was more than they could take, and they found themselves yelling with glee until the entire thing seemed to grow confused and toppled them into the water. Even though the weather for that day was of nonstop downpours, the boat acted as an umbrella, which they took as a good sign. They then ran it up to the manor, still uncontrollably giddy, and, while still somehow being careful not to track too much water in the house, barreled up the stairs and into the potion room like a herd of wild buffalo.

"Wait a second," said Adam, as they settled into the room, "how will we get the boat up to Heaven if we're supposed to drink something?"

Je'sus began circling around the shelves, pulling out seemingly random bottles, "oh, easy, if you just add this stuff to the potion, it can just be poured on an object for it to be transported." He held up a clear, sparkly liquid, resembling nail polish.

"Ah." they fell silent while Je'sus continued to prepare the potion, and though he did it with considerably less ease than Satan, his speed was still shocking.

"Will the potion still be sloshing around in the boat once it's up there?" Asked Adam

He didn't look up, "nope, it's supposed to just vanish once it's up there, now could you flip the boat over, so I can pour it in?"

He began to do so, but Je'sus poured in the brandy cavalier's glowing content before he could ready the structure, making him pull his hands away. The boat fell onto its side, pulsing in and out of visibility, until it left for good."

Je'sus smiled excitedly, "God, that was cool, hold on," he spun back to the table and began preparing a second batch for them, "could you go first? I want to see if it works the same way with a person."

"Fine," said Adam with a playful huff, but only if you tell me about it afterwards, cool?"

"Cool," he handed him a glass, bid him a safe journey, and watched as the liquid slipped down his throat, and he lost consciousness, vanishing from sight mere seconds before collapsing to the ground.

Je'sus stood for a moment more, preparing himself for the trippy journey to come, he then raised the glass to his mouth, and downed it, the warm, sweet taste barely registering on his taste buds as he watched the world turn on it's side, then disappear.

He groaned upon returning to consciousness, there was a large, uncomfortable lump under his back, furthermore, it felt as though someone was slowly pulling it from under him, only adding to his discomfort. He opened his eyes to see Adam moving him off the boat, onto his back, "Hey," he murmured, as loudly as his slurred voice would allow, "What are you doing?"

"The boat was under me when I came around, so I thought I'd move it before you appeared."

He opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a strange voice echoing from another room in the blackened house they were in, "Hello? Who was that?"

The boys froze at the words, and stepped to the room's doorway, hoping to catch a glimpse of the mysterious figure slipping into view.

"We're here for Lord Satan?" Yelled Je'sus, though it sounded far more like a question than a statement.

"Don't tell him that," Adam whispered, "are you nuts?"

An angel poked his head through the door, evident from the wings sprouting from his back, but that, along with his relatively humanlike appearance, was where the similarities to the human views of angels ended. In fact, the boys couldn't help but laugh at his hair, decorated in an atrocious bowl cut, and coloured a strange mix of white and brown, resembling the patterns seen on a raptor, and that was without the two delicate feathers protruding up the top like the ones found on a Great Horned Owl