all too well

two. (niall's POV)

"I'd really fancy a visit to a gallery" Harry tells me, with a sly smile. His feet are sprawled all over the floor, sitting on one of the studio's leather couches. His white tee is wrinkled, but you wouldn't notice. You'd be too busy admiring his brown chestnut hair, perfectly framing his face, which went past his neck. He and Zayn were visiting in from LA, to check out the newly finished recording studio. I could tell Harry missed me from how much he stopped by. Though, I wasn't complaining. Even if we weren't spending every waking moment together like we used to, Harry was those kind of friends that would be okay if we didn't talk for months at a time. We always picked back up from where we started.

I turn to him. Ever since telling him about how close Hannah was to proximity now, it's all he ever bugged me about. 

Not that I don't blame him.

It's not that I didn't want anyone to know how I really felt, but if it was out in the open, who knows what could happen to our friendship?  But how could I hide it? How could-

"You know it would be a bit rude to not introduce us." Harry continued, pulling me out of my train of thought. "I don't get why you're hiding her from me."

"Im not. Who said I was?"

"Doesn't seem that way pal."

"fine." 

I liked calling her just to hear her voice, especially in the studio. I could recall countless of times when I remained stuck, with no direction towards any songs, and all it took was the sound of her laugh to remind me what had driven me to composing an album of love songs for a girl that will never know. Almost all my songs centered around her, while she remained completely unaware.

And I preferred it that way. 

She answered after two rings, her sweet voice filling up the room. I cursed at myself when my heart fluttered.

Harry sat there, as giddy as a school girl.He sat perched up now, peering into my phone screen. When I  ended the call I tossed my phone at him. 

"happy now, eh?" It wasn't like me to be this visibly bothered, but it was setting in that Hannah had to meet all of my mates. Including all the ones who had been drooling over her whenever I posted a photo with her, or whenever I happened to mention my cool mysterious best friend who happens to be the most talented artist I've known. Harry was one of them. 

"Very much so", He was saying now with a satisfied nod. "although I wasn't aware the rest of them were also invited?" He asked cooly, tilting his head while giving me a questioning glance.

I shrugged it off, "Might as well introduce everyone already right? It would be rude of me" I said, mimicking him.  He scoffed and tossed my phone back into my hands. "Whatever, let's listen to the interlude again."

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 Back home, I found myself thrown on the sofa, looking at the living room around me. It wasn't like me to stay in Nashville for this long. I had made every excuse possible to stay, although I knew I didn't need to.  No one was going to question it. At least they haven't yet.

When I found out Hannah had gotten her dream job here, I jumped at the idea of us being roommates, and offered her to stay in my place. 

"No way!"  She had said, laughing at my face. "What would my parents think?"

"That a friend was being nice enough to help out?" I had blurted out, not wanting to reveal the real reason. But it had come off as more passive aggressive than I had hoped.

She had given me a tight smile then, one that made my heart sank, and shook her head. "I don't need your help, besides I like my solitude and I don't need to rely on you."

The memory replayed in my head over and over, until I had turned it into something it wasn't. She was right, there was only so much I could do. I didn't want to smother her when it wasn't my place to, or make her feel like everything I offered was just some handout. 

There was no rules, or expectations people usually have on me with Hannah. She took me as I was. We could talk for hours, about nothing in particular or about our deepest fears. When I'm with her, its as if the world ceases to exist and suddenly its just us and the stars above us. And I always find myself wanting to live in that moment forever. 

I wonder if she thinks the same. 

Or thinks of me at all, the way I do of her. 

But deep down I know the answer, and it makes me shudder.