Square One

Chapter 4

To those of you who actually read this, sorry for the late update, I’ve been really sick lately and couldn’t really focus when I tried to write. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and I just thought I’d let you know that, no, this book won’t be all depressing, I promise. :)) enjoy!

-          Frappee14

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CHAPTER 4 –

Words. A form of communication through speech. Passed on throughout the school with ease. Student to student, it kills me what they say. It was like Chinese whispers, in the end everyone has heard it. The only difference, was that in Chinese whispers, the words change, in my reality, they didn't. Word for word, passed on to everyone. It was like a chain, the same pattern throughout its whole looped design, not a word changed, it stayed the same. I guess in some situations it would be a good thing, but as unrealistic as it sounds, in my reality it wasn't. It was all a lie, a story to hide the truth. They can run from reality by hiding beneath a sea of lies, but they can't run away from the truth, it will catch up to them at some point.

I look at my life as if it was a series of tidal waves crashing against the shore over and over. A tsunami never did any good in its short lived life, and neither do I. It's as if I live in the centre of the wave, I'm trying to escape, crawling to the shore, only to be pulled back in again and drown into the ocean. My body feeling paralysed and numb.

The images of being trapped flashed through my mind only reminding me yet again of the horror I had experienced. The smell of thick burnt ash filling your lungs and blocking your airways, preventing you from breathing. Instead you try to cough out the thick ash, only to inhale more through your blocked nostrils, making matters worse. You're eye lids are pressed shut and are too hard to open. Your vision is blurred once you open your eyes and pitch black is the only sight visible to your heavy eyelids, which start closing again. I had this feeling now, and it was my worst nightmare. No, this wasn't just an image.

I tried to open my eyes. Heavy yet again, just like two months ago. Memories that drowned my thoughts flashed through my mind. I began to panic, no, not a fire again. No! NOO!!! I began shaking.

“Valerie run!! Please wake up and run!!” I heard my mother’s panicked voice again.

I hated this dream. My heart rate increased and my eyes shot open full force.  I lifted my head up regretting it straight away. It began pounding making it heavy, I fell slightly backwards but regained myself with shaky breaths. I looked at what seemed to be my room all fuzzy and spinning. What?

“Oh good, you’re awake. Here take a panadol.” I heard a familiar voice.

Before I knew it I was swallowing down a panadol with a glass of water, a fluid I just realised I desperately needed.

“Adrian? What are you doing here...?” I croaked out and felt immediately embarrassed. I cleared my throat. I hated my morning voice, even if it wasn’t morning. What time of the day was it?

“What am I doing here? What were you doing in an alley way, alone and... like this?” He said gesturing towards me, while helping me sit up. Concern and danger filled his voice. I was actually scared. He helped me get up and I sat at the edge of my bed with my feet on the floor and my head held in my hands. Everything around me was moving and I really needed to stop shaking right now before I made a fool out of myself. I looked down at my clothes to see my skirt ripped at the edges with random black patches. My blue collared shirt had black footprints on it and a few holes from Vanessa's shoes. It was pretty much covered in black and I honestly smelled like I had just been in the fire from my dream. How did I get here? I asked myself, and why was Adrian here? Him seeing me the way I was right now made me feel ashamed and embarrassed. I hadn't done this to myself, but I was the cause of it to begin with, all because of one mistake I find myself sitting here today. How did I make it? I don't know. My head hurt from all the thoughts rushing through it, and it continued pounding in its unnecessary manner.