Square One

Chapter 9

Hey there readers! I'd like to start off by saying THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE VOTES AND COMMENTS LAST CHAPTER!! I guess it was a good one then? Well there's plenty more to come, we're not even half way yet. Sorry for the lag on the update, school is gay. But here it is now! Enjoy!

- Frappee14

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CHAPTER 9-

Maya Angelou once said, "Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time." But of course, that was easier said than done. My life was messed up, it's like a huge black fog, I can't see clearly even with the brightest torch. Its blurry and it loses me in it's unknown surroundings. However, the main point is, that I'm confused, I need some clarity in my life but it's all fogged up. How do I trust love one more time, if I don't even know if I had love in the first place.

You know that feeling when you're trying to scream in a dream and nothing comes out? And then that makes you even more terrified than you already are, and you try to run, but you can't move, it feels as if your legs are glued to the floor and you can't move no matter what you do. You're stuck, trapped, almost locked into place and there's nothing you can do about it. Everyone has had that dream at least once right?

Now imagine being placed in a small room, tied up to the bed, and thick ash everywhere including on you. The flames are circling around you, you're head is spinning, you can't move let alone talk, you're coughing and you can't breathe. In the pitch blackness before you, you can see your family being eaten alive by this huge monster of a burning flame and you can't do anything about it. If you woke up to this dream, you'd be scared I guess, and thank god it's not reality, knock on wood. But imagine waking up to it as a memory.

Imagine everyday for the rest of your life waking up to that horror of a memory in tears and shacking brutally because there was nothing you could do to save them, there was nothing you could do. How would you feel? Helpless? In regret? Weak? It just ate away the lives of the only people you loved in life and left you alone, in this crewel world. You'd live in fear that anyone you'll ever love again will die before you like that. And you know what I hated the most? I hated that it wasn't enough that I experienced this, but it was the fact that I had to wake up every day to the memory of it, the pain and screaming and helplessness. No, the world will never let me forget it, and I don't know what to do.

It was a Thursday morning and of course, as expected I woke up to that dream again. I exhaled shakily and stood up from my bed. I quickly picked up the sheets from the floor and fixed them up on my bed. I can't remember the last time I slept normally; you know when the sheets actually covered me at night? Well actually I can, but I just don't want to. I went to look at myself in the mirror, my hair was out of its ponytail in its usual messy state, my singlet top was twisted to one side pretty much exposing something it shouldn't. I quickly turned it back into place. My shorts were sitting high on my hips, revealing way too much leg for my liking so I quickly pulled them down. Why do I care you say? I looked at the time to see it was 7:05am, yep any second now.

"Knock-knock! Don't mind me." I turned to the window to see Adrian climbing through the large white frame. His Adidas backpack on one shoulder, his hair was his usual muffed up look and he was in his school uniform.

"You know you could use the front door, like everyone else." I said turning towards my bedroom door, I just realised I was really hungry.

"Now where's the fun in that? I don't get to see this happy face every morning that way!" He said sarcastically, referring to my face. I got pissed for a second there before I remembered that he doesn't know why I wake up really upset every day.