In Denial | Completed

An Introduction

While older people in Germany mostly do not seem to let their German get influenced by English vocabulary, the youth use Anglicism in their daily language, often without giving it a second thought. Globalization playing a big role, social media might be the most significant reason for the growing use of English words. Many studies show that there is a-

What was her point again?

Sighing, she erased the entire last paragraph she had actually needed approximately the last thirty minutes to write and proceeded to go back to just staring at her computer screen, hoping her finished English essay would just appear on the opened document.

She closed her eyes and let out a second sigh, while propping her elbows on the desk before her in the old library and rested her face on her palms. The familiar smell of old books wafted through the library. Normally a comforting smell she now just wanted to get out of here as fast as possible.

This was not how she thought it would be. Since she was just a little girl she always knew that she would be studying abroad. She imagined it to be somewhat of a freeing experience - moving out, living at least thousand kilometres away from her parents – an entire ocean separating them – finally being independent.

But sitting here, actually having done what she always wanted to do, she realized that she had idealized her college experience her entire life. And all those books she had read about it, did not help her cause either.

She thought she would be someone else, do something else.

But no. Still plain old Vanessa. The only difference was that she was sitting in the library instead of her old bedroom and she was typing on der laptop instead of writing with a random pen she found on a table in her biology class.

She was still struggling with all her English assignments and she could not remember why she actually had thought it would be a good idea to take an additional course in English out of all things. She had always hated that in High School.

But it was her sister Mallory who had talked her into taking that damn class. Her sister was a genius when it came to choosing the right words and if Vanessa was honest with herself, she always was a bit jealous of her sister for that. So, she tried and tried and tried again with every English course that she took.

But until now her talent was still to be discovered by someone, including her.

Studies show that the use of Anglicism in Germany has increased more and more over the last-

Her eyes moved on their own accord, when she heard his voice.

Dark and inviting, she could tell his voice apart from everyone else's in her sleep.  Vanessa felt compelled to stand up and go in his direction and she actively had to choose not to.

Her eyes finally connected with his back, how he was leaning in the door frame in all his glory. Standing in front of him was his best friend Jack, talking to him and showing him outragedly a message on his phone. But she didn't care about that and her attention was only on him for a mere few moments before she focused back on him. Vann.

Without reallythinking about it, she traced his body. His tousled brown hair ,down to broad shoulders, a muscular back, a-

Before her thoughts could wander further, he started to turn, probably sensing her stare.
She forcefully removed her gaze from his back and to her hands, now resting on her lap.
She could feel him looking at her, searching her face for something. What it was, she didn't know. But he probably didn't either.
She swallowed. His gaze so intent as ever, never failed to make her palms clammy and her heart beat a little faster. That was how it always went.

Her staring. Him staring back.

Her looking away. Him still looking.

And the whole time she couldn't even breath.

Only on rare occasion they would actually meet eyes, locking them briefly but never saying anything. She wondered if it would stay this way for the next however many years she would need to get her degree. Or maybe he would get it before her.

After a few seconds the tension lifted form her shoulders and she figured that he had looked away. Next, she heard their footsteps echoing down the hallway away from the library. She knew his next class was an introduction to sociology and he never took his books home with him, so they probably were on their way to his locker.

She really shouldn't, didn't want to know this kind of stuff about him. Little details that would have to mean she cared. But she couldn't help it. She just knew certain things, without even realizing that she had paid attention. It was like everything he did screamed for her to look, to remember and to never forget.

It was probably the same for him.

At least that was what she was telling herself every day, when she caught herself thinking about him. Otherwise, she would feel more pathetic than she already did. But judging how his gaze lingered on her as much as the other way around she was be pretty confident in her suggestion.

But she had to get back to her essay.

Maybe she should ask her sister for some help. If she would just write some bullshit excuse of a paper, she could give it to her sister to let her proofread it and voilà – she knew she would be getting that essay back almost ready to turn it in.

As she decided that, yes, that was what she would be doing, she contentedly closed her laptop, stood up and began to gather her things together. She still had to actually write something to give to her sister, but that was a problem for tomorrow.

Now, she had to get to her next class, which, she realized after a quick look to the clock over the door, started in two minutes. Shit.

There would be no way she was getting there on time. Normally, she needed at least ten minutes to get across the campus to the right building. 

Looks like she needed to run.

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Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! 

Do not hesitate to correct my spelling since English is not my first language:)