This Thing Upon Me [Order The eBook] [Harry Styles]

Chapter 42

(DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. It's important to remember this is all totally fabricated, embellished, and exaggerated for entertainment purposes.)

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"Don't be scared, I ain't going no where..."

Zayn | "It's Gotta Be You"

By late August, the media and fan scrutiny had gotten to Zayn, and without warning to the team, he deleted his Twitter account. That terrified me more than it should have, because in that moment, I realized not only how sensitive he could be, but also how definitive and impulsive. It put the fear of God in me, so to speak. It was a reality check and a half, forcing me to consider what life would be like without him. It demonstrated more than anything that I could lose him at any moment. One day he could walk away from it all (walk away from us all) without a word or a backwards glance, and there would be nothing we could do to stop him.

I called him up immediately, and he answered, even though he was at his cousin's engagement party in Bradford and wasn't in the mood for talking. I needed to see where his head was and if he was planning on taking the rebellion a step further.

"Sorry I missed your call last night," I said. "Y'ok? What's going on?" He told me to hang on while he made his way back inside the house to a quiet room. The music was too loud.

"Nothin'...nothin'...just tired, y'know? Just thought I'd see how it felt to do it."

"Zayn, mate..."

"I dunno...m'just sick of the negativity and everythin'. Don't need that sh-t, bro, if I'm honest. I'm better off cuttin' it out altogether, yeah? That way I won't feel like...compelled to keep checkin' it all day, and just feelin' disappointed. Lettin' strangers fuss over me and judge me and hate on me. They just wanna bring me down—that's it, innit?"

"I hear you, mate, I do...and I get why you're upset. I would be too. But deleting twitter? 5 Million followers? Uh...you have to admit, that's, uh, kind of a big deal..."

"Yeah, well, not to me, then."

"But, mate...c'mon..."

"C'mon what, bro? Why bother? It's just too negative. They're mad no matter what I do. Especially after Pez. They hate her for some reason. You've seen it, yeah? Weren't you just upset over the way they treated Caroline? And weren't it youh that were cryin' last year after they made fun of the performance, yeah? Youh know how it gets to youh, bro. Don't even try to say it doesn't—"

"I'm not denying it, Z, of course I'm not. It's definitely f—ked up at times. But, at the end of the day—"

"What, huh? Youh gonna say some generic sh-t like, 'think of the positives' or some sh-t like that? I'm tellin' youh, Haz, I already have. I'm just done, alright? And now they see I mean what I say. Now they see what their needless criticism's gotten them, right? It's for the best, maan. I don't need them commentin' on me f—kin' life anymore...every step I take. Who the hell are they, anyweh??"