This Thing Upon Me [Order The eBook] [Harry Styles]

Chapter 55***

(DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. It's important to remember this is all totally fabricated, embellished, and exaggerated for entertainment purposes.)

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***THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED AND IS NO LONGER CENSORED***

"We were together. I forget the rest."

Walt Whitman

"Remember last time we made it special?" I asked upon waking, gazing up at him where he played a game on his phone at the head of the bed. His back was propped up against the headboard.

"Mm-hm."

"Wanna do it again?"

"Hah! We never really stopped, yeah?" he chuckled. "Didn't we just make it special last night?" He reached and picked the crust from the corner of my eye. I knew it was going to take some convincing, since we hadn't talked about me topping since that morning at the Winstons'. If he had had such difficulty coming to terms with the idea of topping himself, I knew it would take a great deal of persuading to let me be the one to make love to him this time around. Either way, it was an honor I looked forward to earning.

"No, I mean...y'know?"

"Oh..." he lifted his brows. "That..."

"Yeah, that," I grinned. He scratched the back of his head indecisively.

"Okay. Whatev's, I'd love to." My jaw dropped. He laughed down at my face, mimicking my expression. "Babe, youh should see your face!"

"Z, what the f—k? I didn't think you'd even agree?! Are you bullsh-tting me?"

"No, I swear! I didn't think I'd agree either!" He shook his head, astonished at himself. "I dunno...it just sorta feels, alright, in a way? Like..." he eyed me closely and squinted. "I kind of feel like you're gonna take care of me. Really well. I trust youh, know what I mean?" I sat up and gaped at him.

"I don't even fooking believe you...say you swear right now."

"M'serious, maan...I'm open to things, right?" he absently popped his thumb in his mouth while he returned to the game.

"Mate, you have no idea what that means to me...no f—king idea!" I grabbed him down across my lap, crushing him in my arms. He gazed up at me, chewing his thumb as I continued. "Z, seriously...it just sort of feels—"

"Anti-climactic?" he laughed, knowing me better than I knew myself.

"Yeah, kind of...I guess."

"Sh-t, m'sorry, babe...youh want me to say noh for a while, or somthin'?"

"No, no, absolutely not. It's perfect." I gazed at him in disbelief, sobering. "You're just so f—king perfect..." I pulled his thumb from his mouth and kissed him with a tender relief. "You feel safe with me?" I asked as he began to doze across my lap, eyes fluttering.

"...Ov course." I bent and pressed my lips to his repeatedly. He murmured against my mouth, "Mm...you're gonna take care of me. I already know youh are."

"For sure," I whispered, inhaling him. "I promise."

Seeing him willingly submit made me want to scream. This was not the Zayn I'd come to know. He felt like a version made especially for me, for this particular moment. Sort of like how you could manifest your unspoken desires in your dreams with a simple thought. If you wanted to fly, suddenly you could fly. If you needed a random laser-powered firearm to fight off a robotic cyclops, you could make one appear in your hand in seconds. Now here he was readily handing me the only thing I wanted more than my next breath. I could not believe it.