This Thing Upon Me [Order The eBook] [Harry Styles]

Chapter 41

(DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. It's important to remember this is all totally fabricated, embellished, and exaggerated for entertainment purposes.)

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I want her long blonde hair, I want her magic touch, 

yeah cause maybe then you'd want me just as much. 

Harry | Girl Crush

Late 2011

When the Up All Night tour rehearsals started, we stopped seeing each other, mostly because there was just no time. When we weren't busy with promo and press events during the day, or performing in the evening, we were dead tired and only had time to sleep. Weeks passed and we kept our distance altogether, because it was safer that way. We knew that if we met up, neither of us had the willpower to stop ourselves from doing something regrettable.

Eventually our normal banter and friendship returned, for which I was grateful, and it sustained me through our 'time apart" (figuratively speaking). Literally, however, there was no real distance. Work kept up as close as cellmates, and there was rarely a day we didn't see each other. Before long, we reverted to our platonic normalcy, which at times vexed me, but at others made me feel emotionally unburdened.

Things only became conflicted again when word began to circulate that he was into Perrie Edwards from Rhythmix, and was contemplating asking her out. I learned all this courtesy of Louis who happened to be in both of our strictest confidence, and often unknowingly swapped intel between Zayn and I, not knowing that this information had the potential to damage us. Lou was, for a change, completely innocent because he remained ignorant of the intimacy Z and I shared over the course of our time at the bungalow, and that I had developed feelings for him. As far as he or anyone else knew, Z and I were just good mates who shared a laugh occasionally, and it was vital that we kept it that way.

Now I had a new threat on my hands. Perrie Edwards. I shivered each time I said it to myself, realizing how similar our names sounded. Perrie Edwards vs Harry Edward Styles. Pez vs Haz. Zerrie vs Zarry. Little did I know how much of a bane she would become in the coming months, amounting to years (nearly succeeding in driving me certifiably insane within that time.)

Rhythmix was a girl group comprised of four incredibly talented contestants from the current season of X-Factor, thrown together on the show in much the same manner as us. They were adored by the viewers, quirky, down to earth, had started off as total strangers but now displayed amazing chemistry (basically like a female One Direction.)

Perrie was the blonde (and for Zayn the most notable.) She proved to be a strong vocalist and was the same age as him. Apparently, they had a lot in common; so I tried so hard not to compare myself to her but ultimately failed. Google became my friend, connecting me with her social media so I could learn all there was to know without following her around in the streets. From what I could observe, she seemed like the antithesis of everything I was physically. We looked nothing alike. I wasn't sure how he could be attracted to us both, but then reconsidered and decided I would've felt disturbed if he'd replaced me with someone too similar.

Perrie was a true Geordie with a proper accent. A blue-eyed, bleached blonde, bombshell-in-the-making with just the right amount of attitude; and apparently she liked to play hard to get (from what I could tell). Her games were driving Z madder by the day. He seemed to subtweet her a lot, and to me it came off as a bit desperate at times, like he'd never had a girl before. What the hell was so special about her that he needed to tweet about it? He had never done that for anyone before.