Mister Quaid: 1800s: I Will Always Find You... (WLW)

Part One, 1873: Chapter Five

August 27th, 1873, Outskirts of Yellowstone, Hendrix Homestead

Alice dismounted Opie and watched how gracefully Pete got down from his...well, her gelding. By looks, anyone would assume she was a man. In fact, Alice had without a second thought, but now that she knew differently, all of her previous observations of her made complete sense. The facts that Pete never grew any facial hair, her muscles were more lean than that of an average man, and that her face held none of the roughness like those men either stood out even more now. Pete may have put on this facade for any number of reasons, but what surprised Alice more than anything was that she hadn't spoken up and told Jonathan of her secret.

On one hand, if she did, there was no way Jonathan would just allow Pete to continue guiding them, nor would he stop himself from attacking and stringing her up. Alice knew the quick and harsh actions of men. There was absolutely no way she could reveal Pete's hidden identity when she could never be sure what lurked within Jonathan's heart for the fairer sex. No matter how fondly he gazed toward Hany at times.

On the other hand, how could Alice not say something? It was more than obvious that Hany knew. How could she have traveled with Pete all these years and not have known? Regardless, this was something that she felt needed to be addressed, but...maybe she could just do it in a way that would keep both Pete and Hany from danger.

The burning secret had lodged itself in her throat crying for her to speak up, but not to Hany or Jonathan and rather to Pete himself. Or rather, herself. She wanted to ask her so many questions and above it all, she found herself admiring the ease with which Pete carried out this persona. She appeared utterly content in her presentation and never faltered in its delivery, seeming just as manly as Jonathan, if not more at times. It was so hard to rack her brain for the right answers that she feared may never come, yet she found herself pulled toward them as if she were about to fall in headfirst.

If she was being completely honest with herself, she found Pete's life absolutely fascinating, but was that really alright? When Albert had returned from the great war, his heart was heavy and his eyes tired, yet he was full of interesting stories of those he had met during his service. One story she'd enjoyed hearing more than any other was of a woman who had donned men's clothing, fighting alongside her sweetheart on the battlefront. She would have expected Albert to be completely appalled at the ghastly affair, but instead, only admiration and civility shined in his words and eyes. He was nothing but sincere in his support for his fellow soldier and the woman was no different. However, would Walt feel the same way?

Walt may have been supportive of people of colour and even gone out of his way to make sure they were treated respectfully by those around them. He even advocated for women's suffrage, but could the same be said if he found out that Peter had deceived him? The thought that Walt would ever be anything aside from his tender self scared her, and she never wanted to chance Pete being hurt. They may not always get along and Alice may have hurt her beyond words with the slurs, but she now understood why she had grown so deathly pale.

Maybe for Pete, she actually sees herself as a man. Why else would she do it? Not that it makes any more sense... At least, not to me...

Her head spun as she tried to wrap her mind around it, but she still felt no judgment in her heart. They hadn't gotten along every step of the way to the Hendrix Ranch, but those tiny moments when Pete showed her the softer side of her personality were the only things that ran through her mind in defense of what Pete was doing. That being said, she wasn't sure that what Pete was doing actually needed defending. It wasn't like she was hurting anyone.

All in all, Pete was a good person. That Alice knew no matter the horrid thing they had said to one another, and she would never go out of her way to cause her further pain than she already had. Especially not when Pete had risked her secret just to keep Alice from getting ill on the road. Especially not when she saw the way Pete gazed at Hany every time their eyes met.