Behind the Poems

Teen-agers • Letter 2

Dearest Ms. Donkey Face,

Do you realize something? In the last letter I attempted to write about my problems, but I ended up debating yours oops.

And you never write back, do you? I know that the last letter was not the most polite one I've written, but I'm probably that way because I have problems.

So you should've written back anyway, because that's what school counselors are for, right? To deal with our problems?

Anyway, I would gladly inform you that I've been just fine holding up that one-sided lettering because guess what? I actually felt better after lecturing you on your problems.

So much better that I've forgotten my own one for, like, three seconds flat.

Now it's coming back to me.

Here is my problem : MY BOYFRIEND IS CALLING ME FAT IN MY FACE.

What kind of boyfriend does that, huh?

It was just in the morning that my jeans felt like it was somehow too tight for me. So I tried so freaking hard to convince myself that my jeans shrunk in the wash.

But then during lunch time, my boyfriend had to shove the ugly truth down my throat.

He took my burger away, saying, "No, you shouldn't eat that," and REPLACED IT WITH A SALAD. WITHOUT DRESSING.

Like, can he be any less subtle or what?!

Fine, he can date any girl he wants, those skinny, bony cheerleaders are all waiting in line for him. He can. I'll just tell him to go ahead. See if I care.

Oh God. I'm tearing up now BECAUSE I CARE.

He's like the Prom King-to-be and the whole school freaking worship him and he's sweet and cute and hot and smart and athletic and-

AND I LOVE HIM.

I still do after he called me fat.

Have you ever felt so pathetic in your life, Ms. Donkey Face? I bet you never have since you only have bones anyway.

Whatever.

P. S. Have you looked up The Shrek yet? Or are you still too grumpy for that?

All my fats and cellulite there,
Anonymous xx