Winning the Luna's Heart- An HMAHM story

Chapter 21- "Take a Break"

*Third person's pnt. Of view*

Anna-Marie woke up with a rattled gasp while she sat up from her bed, her body shaking from head to toes. Her forehead was drenched with sweat and her heart was thrumming as though she just ran a marathon. Anna gulped, her chest heaving as she tasted her dry throat. Her head was spinning, and she felt more than overwhelmed at everything that just happened.

Anna couldn't understand or comprehend anything that had occurred over the past few days. All she knew was that so far, 21 was not the most enjoyable age.

Anna held on to her heavy head and groaned, but that's before she remembered her dream.

Joey!

Anna-Marie looked around trying to understand what happened. For one she was confused as to how she got from the floor, to her bed. Anna-Marie was sure she had collapsed on the floor.

"You know, for someone who believes that Aisha lives to earn the approval of others, it seems that you do the same as well. You live to earn gold stars Anna-Marie." Selene's voice suddenly sounded in the room, causing Anna's heart to jump to her throat in shock.

Anna noticed the moon goddess sitting in a chair a few feet away from her bed, and Anna-Marie could see that Selene had no wish to exchange pleasantries with her, so she replied "It's my job, I have to always earn gold stars or else how am I supposed to be a Luna?" Anna questioned.
"By working and earning the heart of a Luna. Anna-Marie life is not just about the rewards when succeeding, but about the sacrifices made and the learning and experience you gain with every success. You win some and you lose some, it's a way of life. What you choose to do with the losses, what you choose to learn, and how you choose to handle the losses, is entirely up to you. No one is asking you to be perfect. They just want you to be a leader. Not a coward, not a self righteous saint." Selene began to explain, and Anna knew that this was going to be a lecture she never forgot, "As much as the pack cares about you succeeding, they don't want to see your gold stars Anna-Marie, it's your heart. That's all they want to see. They want to see that you want to lead them, that you love each and everyone of them equally, and that you'd lay your life for them. Even though the title of Luna is your birthright, they want to see that you respect it as much anyone else who would have had the opportunity to be called Luna. They want to see that humility, the humanity, they want to look at you and still be able to relate to you, and most importantly they want a heart that has no room to hold grudges. A heart that forgives. That's the heart of a Luna. You can't just throw around your title and demand that everything goes your way. Respect is not given Anna-Marie,  it is earned."
"So what? Am I not allowed to be mad and react? Because I am Luna, does that mean I can't have feelings?" Anna asked, feeling attacked.
"What more do you want? No one said you shouldn't be angry Anna. No one told you to kiss and make up with Joey the same day. All we said was that you make sure you don't take your anger out on him. You could be mad at him all you want, place some distance between you, take some time away from each other so you could cool down, but you were warned to never take your anger out on him. Never let your anger drive you down the dark path where there's nothing but hurt and pain, and bad decisions." Selene explained, and Anna-Marie looked away scowling.

How could Selene get through to Anna? She was as stubborn as her mother was, if not worse.

"Tell me this, did it feel good? Did your decision to let him die feel good? Did your decision to let a mother cry feel good? Was it what you were looking for when you decided to let him die?" Selene tested, wanting to see Anna's state of mind, but Anna-Marie remained silent.
"That's what I thought." Selene sighed, but now Anna was riled up, "so why are even having this conversation? Why is it still about him? I saved him didn't I?" Anna snapped, and Selene shook her head as she said, "you don't get it do you? It was never about Joseph Anna-Marie, it was always about you. Demitrey and Adelina had their fair share of horrors when growing up in order to become the leaders they are today, and they decided that you shouldn't have to go through that. They gave you everything, and I waited until you were at a mature enough age to begin testing you and seeing just how much you've learned from watching your parents. Apparently, you didn't learn much, not as much as I expected anyway." Selene noted, slightly disappointed.
"What are you talking about? My parents only made sure I trained physically, and made sure I had the etiquette to act like a Princess. They taught me the social skills of Royalty, never a section about dying for someone, or making a sacrifice!" Anna-Marie asked, completely frazzled and angry.
"How can you be so ignorant child? The defense exercises you learned form your father, and first aid classes with your aunt Cilia, they were never just about you. And forget the classrooms, what of the moments your mother took you on her rounds around the pack? Greeting everyone who passed and visiting the elderly? That wasn't just about etiquette, it wasn't just an "act", that was humility." Selene shook her head, confused.
"Well excuse me if the hidden lessons were not explained correctly." Anna looked away, and Selene frowned, "Anna-Marie, you can't possibly tell me that all the times you volunteered at the clinic, and in the kitchens and such were just an act? You're telling me for the past 21 years that you've watched your parents lead, you've learned nothing? That all the times you've smiled at others and visited the sick, that it was all an act? A pretense? Did you even really care? Or were you just counting the days until you were crowned as Luna so you wouldn't feel the need to do those tasks anymore?" Selene asked, needing an angle with Anna.
"Of course I cared!" Anna-Marie snapped, the disbelief shining in her eyes, then she added "but you can't expect me to be like my parents. I am not them." Anna tried to justify.
"No, I expected you to be better." Selene scolded, then they fell into a tense silence.