July 1st 2020

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I feel the disgust just by looking at him. I see the phony he is. Making him seem like a gentle, kind man. Seems like a handsome man. But really he is stinky and rude. Liar he is. 
Telling me 'no' just because I'm a girl. Just because I'm young.
When I'm alone, and he is not around, I'm a totally different person. I'm myself. I can cry & dance & sing.
I can laugh and say what I feel. He doesn't even know one thing about me. He thinks he knows all. But he doesn't. It's not my fault he can't see the beauty in me. The kindness in me. Me!

He sees me every week but decides to choose who I am, when I'm right there. He decides not to listen and be right. He chooses rightness over happiness.
But why does he do this?

I don't know.

To cover up the sad man he is?

To cover up the lies?

To cover up the ... Tears?

I know deep down, he wants to show us who he is but decides to be evil.
I know deep down, he misses his child in him.
I know deep down, he misses the tears. His tears.
He misses to cry and we can't wait to see those tears.

Hasn't cried in 13 years. Why? Why haven't you cried?

Cry, Just cry.

Let those tears flow down your cheeks. Let those tears fly away. And let it out.

Let there be tears.

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