Kismet

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I took my eleventh shot. All these emotions rushed in. I didn't know what I was feeling. First, I was mad at mother for leaving us. Then cried out for my father. Then, I was laughing at the thought of my reaction when I found out I had cancer. I started to laugh off the thought that I wanted to climb a mountain, and then I cried because I couldn't climb a mountain. I was a wreck.

"Like, I don't understand why life sucks. I want to live but what's the whole point of living if I have nothing to live for," I cried. I grabbed another tequila shot and bottoms up. Is this how it feels to drink. Powerless. I feel like I have no control over my emotions. They were like a crazy rollercoaster. My emotions were up, down and all around. The music has been lowered down because of some complaints from the stores across the street, my guess. The green-blue lights were shot off. The room had the light dimmed off. I can see people getting escorted out by security because they were causing a scene. I put my head down head on the table. My head started to hurt.

I keep thinking about my list. Was it worth it? Was this really living?

I felt someone pull a chair, "Hi." A deep familiar. I lifted my head off the table.

"I guess our next time came a little sooner than we thought," Josh said with a smile.

"JOSH!" I shouted with excitement. I jumped off my chair and gave him a hug. He hugged back in surprise.

"I missed you," I said.

"We just saw each other a couple of hours ago?" he explained. Then he looked over me and saw all of my empty tequila shots and dried out lemons all over the table.

"Is that yours?" he asked.

"No," I shook my head innocently.

"Let me smell you," he said.

"NO!" I shouted. "Not until our third date."

 Josh gave a concerned look, "You're drunk, May."

"I can cross twelve off my list," I giggled. Josh turned around and called out to the bartender.

"Did she come with anybody," he asked.

"No," the bartender replied. "But she did say she was waiting for a friend, but she's been waiting for about an hour now."

"Lola, I need to find her" I got up my swinging chair. I tried to walk my first step, I almost fell on my face. Josh grabbed my waist before I fell.

"Well, if her friend ever does come. Tell her May went home with her friend," Josh instructed to the bartender. The bartender nodded. Josh took me by the hand and lead me to the bar entrance.

"Can I have May's jacket please," he asked the coat person.

"Number please," the lady asked.

"What's your number?" he turned around and faced me.

"15, 14, 13, 12, 11," I rambled. Numbers so many numbers. "173"

"173," Josh repeated to the coat lady. She went to the huge walk-in closet and came out with my jacket and scarf. Josh took it from the lady said his thank you. Josh looked really nice. He had black jeans, a white T-shirt and a gray sweater over it. He was wearing a navy blue plaid hoodie. When I looked down he was wearing timberland work boots. They were covered in slush. Josh helped me put my jacket and scarf on. When we got outside he put his back towards and got on one knee.

"Hop on," he said.

"I'm sorry. Are you offering me a piggyback ride?" I said a little bit loopy.