Anxious [H.S]

Chapter 16: Walking On Eggshells

*Song: Vienna by Billy Joel*

Authors Note: Sensitive Content Warning

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I wake up and look at the clock and it's five o'clock in the morning. All I can hear is Harry's heartbeat from underneath my ear. It's honestly soothing to hear. Last night was crazy, everything happened so fast. So what was that, the seven millionth time I have cried in front of Harry? Whatever, I don't care. I'm not gonna stress myself out about it. I look up to see that Harry is still asleep, he looks so peaceful when he's sleeping, he looks beautiful. I gently get up off him, trying not to wake him up. I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth. My eyes immediately go to the sunflowers. It's my mom's death anniversary today, it's been eleven years.

Today's going to be rough I can already tell. On days like this I always ask myself if she would be proud of me. I hope so.

"Mom, I got a boyfriend," I whisper, looking at the sunflowers.

I talk to her sometimes. And no, not in the creepy 'I see dead people' sort of way, just the 'hey I want to let you know what's going on in my life' sort of way. I obviously know she is not going to respond but I like to think that she's with me all the time. That's why I keep sunflowers around. We both loved them, we even planted a little garden together. I tried to keep it going after she died but my dad came home drunk one night and ruined it all. Speaking of my dad, I will probably receive a call from him today and I am not looking forward to it. The last time I talked to him was the first time Harry came here.

"Good morning," Harry says, coming up behind me with his toothbrush in hand.

"Good morning. What are you doing up so early?" I ask.

"Well I felt you get up and I thought I'd keep you company while you get ready for work," he says, putting toothpaste on his toothbrush.

"That's sweet Harry but I feel bad, you went to bed really late," I state, cleaning my mouth off.

"Yeah, so didn't you," he says, coming back up from spitting in the sink.

"I guess you're right," I say, leaning against the counter, waiting for him to finish brushing his teeth.

He grabs my hand and walks me to my bedroom, sitting me on my bed.

"I'm going to pick out your outfit today. What color is your apron?" he asks, smiling. His smile is contagious, he might actually be the only thing that pulls me through today.

"Dark green but I would stay away from anything white. I am too clumsy for white," I state, looking at him looking through my closet.

I am honestly not one bit nervous that Harry is picking out my outfit. Now if it were Kenna or Olive I would be terrified but I feel like Harry will pick out something nice. He turns around and walks towards me with a pink button up crop top and dark blue jeans.

"Go ahead now, get ready," he says shooing me out of the room.

I run into the bathroom still giggling from Harry chasing me down the hallway. Maybe today will be a good day. My mom would want me to have a good day. I am in the shower when it finally hits me. Oh my God, I'm Harry Styles's girlfriend. Is there a responsibility that comes to being that to him? I hope not, I'm not good with pressure. Who do I tell? Kenna? Olive? Is Kenna going to kill me when I tell her? Am I allowed to even tell anyone?

I shut off the water and get out of the shower, knowing that if I stay in there much longer I will cause myself to have an aneurysm. I get dressed into the outfit Harry picked out for me and I really like it. I'm not sure if I've worn this shirt before. I decide to just blow dry my hair and pull it up into a ponytail because it's too early to do anything else. I shut the light off and walk back into my bedroom.