Amore||Jake Shim

seventeen

ava exited the bathroom and found jake sitting on the edge of the bed, swinging his legs around.

"did you need something?" ava asked.

"uh y-yes .. do you mind if we talk?"

ava hummed in response and walked over to sit next to jake on the edge of the bed, "what's up?"

"how long are you back home for?" jake asked, "or are you back home for good?"

ava looked away from jake's face and put her attention on anything, but him. there was something in his eyes that showed the little bit of hope he had and it was just that.

she didn't want to give him false hope.

"you don't know, do you?" jake questioned.

ava pressed her lips into a thin line and shook her head, "i don't."

"well that just about answers all my other questions," jake sighed and stood up to walk to the door.

without turning around, jake told ava, "my mom's probably waiting for us to go eat. i'm not hungry, so eat first."

ava furrowed her eyebrows at jake's sudden change of attitude and began wondering what she said wrong to make jake seem so upset.

not wanting to keep mrs. shim and the girls waiting, ava wrapped her wet hair in her towel and headed to the kitchen where the girls were eating.

"where's jake?" mrs. shim asked.

"uh- he's in his room. something about not being hungry," ava replied.

mrs. shim sighed and handed ava a plate of food, "bring this into his room for me will you?"

ava closed her eyes, knowing what she was about to get herself into, and replied, "of course."

she knocked on his door before entering jake's room to see him laying on his stomach on the bed.

"i uhm- i brought you some food just in case you get hungry later on yeah?"

"i thought i told you i wasn't hungry," jake answered rather harshly.

"well just in case-"

"you know what?" jake cut off, "i'm tired of you telling me i need to eat and get rest on repeat. it's like i have two moms now and it's so-"

"i'm just trying to look out for you whenever i can so that you don't end up in the hospital again. what's your problem?" ava asked as her emotions began boiling on the inside.

"what's my problem? i don't know. you tell me," jake said, walking over to ava, "you come back home and suddenly we're spending so much time together. every minute we spend together gives me another minute of confusion."

"what is there to be confused about?" ava asked, bewildered with jake's sudden outburst.

"i don't know," jake sighed, brushing his fingers through his hair, "i thought i was over you, ava. i really did."

"but it seems as if the more i try to avoid my feelings, the more i feel attracted to you. for the past few days we've spent together, we messed around, smiled, and laughed, but how am i supposed to know if this is just a reconnection or if the way i feel about you is changing?"

"it is so hard," jake chuckled, "it's so hard being around you without feeling the urge to say the things i want you to hear. i'm trying my best to act casual, but all i can do is wonder how you feel."

there was a moment of silence before ava smiled, "if pouring out what you have to say makes you feel better, then i will always be all ears."

"i also convinced myself that i was over you, but when i saw you outside of the studio that day i- everything came back and i mean everything," ava chuckled.

"i still find love and friendship in you and i don't think i ever haven't. but jake- things aren't the same anymore. they're not even close to being the same.

"you've changed for the better in so many ways and it's like i don't even know you anymore. i still feel something. i really do, but we can't just automatically go back to how things were. it doesn't work like that," ava whispered.

"jakey? is everything okay?" brooklyn asked, walking into jake's room as ava blinked her teary eyes away.

"everything is just perfect," jake sighed, "go eat."

"okay if you say so," brooklyn replied, walking away from jake, but pausing by the door.

"you know .. it's okay to start over. jakey tells me all the time that you can always start over and try again," brooklyn smiled, "okay i have chocolate chip cookies waiting for me. bye bye."

ava managed to muffle up a soft laugh with more tears growing in her eyes as she turned back to look at jake.

"well jakey sounds like a smart person, don't you think?" ava asked, "i say we take his advice and try again, but this time .. create a happy ending. what do you say?"

jake smiled down at ava and shook his head.

"you're unbelievable," jake laughed, going in to hug ava.

"i say we give that a go," jake breathed out, "let me start by saying sorry for lashing out on you. i enjoy seeing you care about me."

ava shook her head in jake's embrace, "we're starting over. a fresh start means forgetting about the past yeah?"

"yeah," jake replied.

the two continued hugging each other as thoughts flooded their minds. was this the right path to head towards?

either way, it felt nice to hear each other's feelings honestly. it'd be quite a ride to start over again, but if it's destiny, it'll all work out.