Where Have You Been (Rickian Fanfic)

4.

i wokeup with Ricky snuggled aagainst me and Jc laughing at us taking pictures of us and i jumped up and chased after him falling in the proccess and we were yelling and cursing at eachother breaking things and Ricky still managed to stay asleep for another hour.

I woke him up by slapping him with salami. " What the Hell man. That wasn't funny." He said

"Yeah it was. Do you want to go to the mall and hang out and do some shopping while we are at it?"

" Sure l just have to go take a shower and get the salami off my face."

I started laughing at his snarky remark. And then he went and took his shower and then we left and we didn't end up getting anything  and we decided to go get something to eat.

" Where do you want to g-" I was cut off by him yelling "PANERA!"

  " Taco Bell."

"Panera"

"Taco Bell"

"Panera"

"Taco Bell."

"PANERA."

"TACO BELL."

"PANERA."

I shut up knowing he would get his way anyways and I drove to Panera and we got what we normally got but we didn't say anything the entire time we just stared into each others eyes not breaking the stare the entire time still not saying anything.

He has the most beautiful eyes and  I was just taking in all his facial features and I don't think I have ever loved him more.

We finished eating and I payed after a lot of arguing about it the car ride home was silent until Rickys phone went off.

" Hello? "

" Good you?"

"Well...what is it?"

"Seriously."

"Wow I'm so happy for you."

"Your welcome."

"Ok, well I'm exited for you."

"Bye."

Then he hung up.

"Who was it?" I asked.

" Shelby."

"And..."

"She's pregnant. "

"Wow"

We pulled in the drive way and we went upstairs and watched Pretty Little Liars on my laptop and I fell asleep in the middle and he did too shortly after.

We have been getting extremely close lately. He has slept with me the past 6 nights and I just wish I could tell him how I feel but I know he dosent feel the same way.

I woke up the next morning and looked in the mirror and thought to myself I am so ugly no wonder he dosent feel the same way.  I grabbed my razor and broke it and got a blade and slit my wrist 7 times for only 7 days I have left with Ricky before I have to leave.

I started to cry and Ricky heard me and knocked on the door."are you ok in there?"

"Yeah I'm fine I just accidentally kicked the wall and it hurts I'll be right out " I said hurying to cover up the scars I just made. I put a layer on gauze on then a few bracelets.

I walked out and Ricky being awesome could tell I covered it up with gauze and bracelets and he grabbed my wrist and I jumped back and he pulled me into my room and took them off my wrist and kissed the scars making my heart flutter and my wrist sting.

" Why did you do this to yourself?"

"I don't like myself."

"I love you. Your my best friend I never want you to do this to yourself again."

Then he gave me a big hug and we stayed there for a while and I just wanted to kiss him so bad but I had to restrain myself from making that horrible decision.