Illegal My Ass

Chapter 40- 'You're thinking about my penis aren't you?'

A/N: thank you to ChloeCullen for the beauty of a banner, i love all the quotes you chose to put on it!

And thank you to potatoXhead97 for another AMAZiNG trailer! its so sexy i want to marry it! Hope you like the chapter guys....its an interesting one i can say that much as i know many of you have been waiting for it...

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I fell asleep. I don’t know how long I was out for, but the next thing I remember is someone’s screaming voice jolting me out of my sleep.

“TSUNAMI!” the voice almost cuts through me as I shoot awake, my heart beating so hard I’m surprised it didn’t bulldoze out of my chest.

I look down at a laughing Drake, and my heart stops trying to beat its way out into the open as I realise it was this asshole that almost gave me a stroke.

“See, it’s not nice being woken up in such a manner is it?” Drake asks once he stops laughing, his voice smug as she looks at me with amusement.

I grit my teeth and nod my head.

“Touché.” I will give him that one, I deserved it. I realise my hand is still tangled with his bloody one on his stomach. I resist the urge to smile as I spot this.

I let out a sigh and rest my head back down on his arm “We need to start waking each other up a little more calmly. This is the kind of shit that causes heart problems.”

He twists is head and looks down at me, the corner of his mouth raised as he nods in agreement.

“Very true. Plus we’re running out of natural disasters and accidents to wake each other up with.”

I scoff “Speak for yourself, I’ve still got global warming, blizzard, avalanche, Ice age, Hurricane and a shit load of other ones.”

He furrows his brows and looks at me questioningly “You were going to scream Ice Age at me? You are aware that’s a children’s film and not a natural disaster?”

“Well if the world does freeze over and you're shivering your balls off in minus temperatures, you’re going to feel pretty silly saying that to me aren't you?” I counter, and he actually laughs at my logic.

He looked better now. I don’t know if it was because he got some sleep, or the alcohol has completely worn off but he looked a little happier than he did when I first got here. I have no idea how long we were asleep for but to be honest I didn’t care.

Jesus Christ, I really did like the asshole.

And we all know how my vagina feels about him, so you can imagine how happy she is right now that I'm currently lying in bed with him. Although she has more than plenty to say about the fact we were still fully clothed. Apparently she wanted more of a porn moment than a lifetime moment.

“Why have you suddenly gone quiet?” Drake’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

I look up at him innocently, shaking my head “No reason.”

He smirks “You’re thinking about my penis aren’t you?”

My eyes widen for a split second, debating if this was Drake or Edward Cullen the sparkly mind reader lying next to me. I got a quick image of Drake covered in glitter like a drag queen at a cabouret, but i quickly stuffed that thought into a box titled 'Do not fucking open. Ever.'

“If I was thinking about your penis it would have been a much shorter thought.” I reply with a smirk of my own, impressed with my quick cover up and insult.

He raises his brows at the dig at his penis, clearly not impressed. If there was one thing I knew about Drake, it was that he does not take kindly to people bad mouthing his soldier. It was like his own ugly little one eyed child.