Illegal My Ass

Chapter 42- 'He tried and failed like the Twilight Films.'

A/N: Last chapter was depressing as hell, so the humour is back in this one! 

Thank you to curlyfry394 for the hot ass banner i love it!

--

One month later

“You will literally stop at nothing to skip a day of school won’t you?” My brother shakes his head disapprovingly as he sees me leaning over the toilet bowl wiping my mouth.

Yes, I am that attractive.

“Nate seriously, that freaking chicken you made you last night was still healthy enough to have a run around the house. You are to blame for this.” I inform him, my stomach doing summersaults.

“There was nothing wrong with that chicken. So what it was a little pink, you’re a girl you’re meant to like that colour.” He shrugs, his logic apparently perfectly normal to his moronic eyes.

I look at him stunned “Just because I have a vagina doesn’t mean I like eating foods so pink they basically scream out salmonella!”

He grimaces “Ergh, don’t say that word.”

I furrow my brows “What word?”

He’s still scrunching his face, before he whispers “Vagina” and shivers.

I roll my eyes, my stomach doing another flip and I have to turn to the bowl as I continue to puke my guts out.

“That is so attractive Mia; you’ll sure as hell find a husband one day.” Nate tells me sarcastically, and I flip him off while I'm still puking.

I stop, wiping my mouth again as I take a few deep breaths “Still think I’m lying to get out of triple English?”

He walks towards me so he is standing over me, and takes a peek in the bowl. He scrunches his face in disgust before he shakes his head “No, I believe you. That’s like the shit that came out of the exorcist girl.”

“All thanks to you.” I mutter under my breath, and he actually nudges my back with his knee because I offended what he calls ‘cooking’. I call it taking live animals and putting them on plates.

I don’t know why I ate that chicken. We were both in last night and suddenly Nate had a Jamie Oliver moment and decided he was going to chef up the kitchen. I was so freaking hungry I didn’t realise until I had eaten half the chicken that it still basically had a heartbeat.

“It wasn’t my cooking; I’m not spewing my guts up.” Nate points out sitting on the edge of the bathtub. He starts rubbing my back once he sees me gag again.

“That’s because your stomach is immune to everything considering the amount of crap you put in your mouth.” I counter, urging slightly.

I see him smirk from the corner of my eyes “I do put a lot of disgusting things in my mouth.”

My eyes snap to him as I glare “You realise how gay that sounds?”

He shrugs “It was too much of a good set up not to take it, even if it did make me sound like Elton John.”

I breathe a laugh.

Thank god we were back to normal. It took a while; for the first couple of weeks the most I would get out of him would be a grunt in the morning and the occasional ‘you’re blocking the telly’ statement. Living in the same house day in and day out made it impossible for us not to speak though and finally he started to be fine with me again.

We talked it through, which was an awkward freaking conversation saying to your brother you’ve been banging his best friend, but we had it out. I also broke down to him and admitted I knew about Drake.