Pinn Short Stories

Eye to Eye || Part 3

This chapter contains triggering content (Panic Attacks and suicidal thoughts). Don't read this if you don't feel comfortable with this content.

Also, important final notes, so please read it, I would appreciate your opinion.

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Before you go
Piper Chaves-Tordjman
Toronto, Canada

She checked herself once more. The white dress gave her an angelic look, the hair was loose and messy as expected for the dance, she had her pointe shoes on and was waiting for her name to be called.

It was her first competition since A-Troupe and she felt unprepared, even though she practiced this dance non-stopping for almost three weeks. Everyone told her she was going to be great, but everytime she closed her eyes a million ways of how she could mess up appeared in her head.

"Piper you are next..." Said Emily giving a small smile to Piper, who forced a smile.

Piper entered the stage and positioned herself. Everyone looked at her, and the theater where the competition was happening looked smaller than usual. 'Before you go' started playing and so did she.

As she danced she noticed her heart start thumping. She could hear the blood passing through her ears, it seems louder than Lewis Capaldi's voice. She tried to pay attention to the singer's voice but she only heard whispers and the sound of her heart louder – thump, thump, thump – her chest moved up and down under her layer of clothing.

Her hands were trembling and her vision was blurry. Suddenly, she was hot and sweaty, so hot that breathing became a problem but she couldn't stop dancing, staying up on her feet was hard, but Piper was going to do her best to continue dancing.

Her heart seemed to pound even faster, even harder. She couldn't hear the music but she was able to hear whispers, Piper never felt more terrified in her life. She tried breathing to calm herself, but her breaths were sharp and shallow, she felt so alone in the middle of the stage with hundreds of people watching her. Her vision got darker and narrower, she could swear she was seeing stars.

"You are dying." a voice whispered in her head. "This is what death feels like, and you are going to die alone. Completely alone."

Piper gasped but continued to dance, she knew the dance was almost over, just some more steps.

Her mind started to race. Piper thought about everything she did wrong and everything she wanted to accomplish, but knew she could never, she wasn't good enough, and she would never be.

"Why are you still alive? Kill yourself, do a favor to the world!" The voice repeated.

Piper asked the voice to stop, but the voice just became louder and louder. Just one more count of eight, she could do it.

"You soulmate will never love you. No one will ever love you." The voice screamed. "You don't deserve love. You are not a good dancer, you deserve nothing."

Piper posed and gave a fake smile while tears runned through her face, everyone was able to see her tears. She ran away from the stage, away from everyone.

She got to the bathroom and sank to the floor, she didn't know how much time passed before she tried to stand up again, maybe 30 seconds or an hour. She felt like all her energies were sucked, she didn't want to live anymore, it hurted too much.

She looked at the mirror and tried to clean her face and adjust her hair and dress, she was a complete mess.

"Piper, we looked everywhere for you..." Piper heard Riley behind her. "We saw what happened, are you okay?"