The Girl Who Lived ☆ D. MALFOY

Chapter 45

A/N- in honour of harry's birthday, i'm posting this earlier than i planned. aaaaaaand it's the last chapter of part one of the story and the half-blood prince section! i know i should probably start on my edits of the beginning, and maybe i'll add some sort of aesthetic. ALSO, i was thinking of making a marauder era fic. specifically a sirius x oc. would you all want to read it? let me know what you think please!!! i love hearing your suggestions! enjoy!

Word Count: 2288

After what felt like hours of sitting against the wall of the astronomy tower, staring up at the stars obscured by the Dark Mark, Professor McGonagall walked in, seemingly unsurprised to see me there. She didn't ask why I wasn't with Harry or the rest of the students, wherever they might have been. Instead, she gently grabbed my arm and helped my still shivering form to my feet. I noticed she was leading me to the hospital wing, but I could hardly care. She only spoke to me once we reached the doors.

"Your friends are in here. Go rest on one of the beds." she said, leaving no room for argument. She pushed open the doors for me to walk in then followed after, already beginning to speak to the rooms occupants. I'd nearly forgotten about my friends and how I'd left them to fend for themselves with the other Death Eaters. Even Professor McGonagall showed signs of a recent battle.
I scanned the battered faces of my friends as they looked back at me with a mixture of pity and admiration. I didn't bother to pay attention to what they were saying to each other as Madame Pomfrey led me to the nearest hospital bed  where she would assess my injuries. I'd forgotten about the injuries I had sustained earlier in my duel with Bellatrix and the other Death Eaters, leaving me with a split lip, flaring pain in my side and back, and many smaller cuts and bruises. I drown out all the noise around me while she mends and bandages my wounds.

I was numb.

~~~~~~~~~~

All lessons were cancelled and exams postponed, and once I left the hospital wing the next morning, I didn't leave the sides of my four best friends. Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and I were inseparable. It wasn't even close to the same as before everything, but us together held a sense of familiarity that we all were in desperate need of. I was far more quiet, and spent all the time I could with my nose buried in a book so as to distract myself from the looming thoughts I wouldn't allow myself to think, but the others didn't question it. They simply stayed by my side, and that's all I could ask of them.

Harry and I even ignored all of our past disputes. He doesn't know I overheard him defending Draco to Ron and Hermione as he explained how Draco and his family was being threatened by Voldemort, and he had been lowering his wand before the Death Eaters entered. Also, once Harry said he was present for the entire interaction on the astronomy tower, I felt immense guilt. We didn't talk about it, but I hated to think what he must have felt. Between hearing my screams of agony and watching the death of a man he looked up to, I didn't want to imagine what he must have felt.

I also felt guilty for a number of other reasons. One being the fear I felt that night. Not the fear of death, or even torture, but the fear of using my powers in front of the Death Eaters.

As we followed our heads of houses (mine being Professor Slughorn.) out of the Great Hall and towards the grounds for the Headmaster's funeral, I couldn't help but dwell on the fact that I could have done more. I could have used my powers to stop them from taking Draco. Or stopped them from killing Dumbledore. But I was scared that if the Death Eaters saw what I can do, they'd report to Voldemort, and he would have me as a powerful weapon to use against my friends and family. So I stood idly by while my mentor was murdered right in front of me. Tears threatened to fall as I trudged along, alone in the midst of my housemates.
I looked up from my feet only when a hand was placed on my shoulder. For a split second, I expected it to be Draco, but reality kicks in and the more familiar face of my brother greets me instead.