Strawberry

11.0 - Past

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER WILL CONTAIN SELF HARM, DEPRESSION AND OTHER DARK STUFF.

FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS CHAPTER IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE.

Seoul Hospital, 3:20pm

maya grumbled as she went out of her therapy session. her shoulders were sore as hell, and she wouldn't lie if she said she didn't want to punch the therapist at some point.

violet was outside waiting for her, but her focus was somewhere else, as maya tapped her shoulder. "who's there?"

"it's sam..over there, look." maya followed violet's eyes, seeing sam was talking to one of the doctors, but what shocked her was the doctor's position.

Trauma Therapist. maya remembered her days in a clean office, talking about painful memories that she thankfully got over.

"sam?" violet said, as sam immediately turned to face her. "violet! maya!" the doctor smiles at maya. "hazel? is that you? back so soon?"

"doctor kim.." maya smiles. "my shoulder was acting up so i went to doctor lee to work on it again." sam looks at them. "you guys know doctor kim?"

"she's the person i told you about, sam. she used to frequent me and doctor lee. hazel had improved a lot though, so she was eventually taken out of my list."

"yeah, i used to be in the hospital almost everyday, i was homeschooled and everything. i had to take anger management classes too."

"ahh.." sam realized violet was staring at her hoodie sleeve, which still had some questionable stains. "before you ask, it's condiments."

"i..okay.." violet looked away from her and sam sighs. "can we talk later? i'll text you." violet nods. "of course."

-

Apartment Complex Rooftop, 12:00am

sam sighed, checking her phone for the nth time. she had asked violet to meet up 30 minutes ago, but she still wasn't there.

when she was thinking about leaving, already having finished her coffee, violet rushes in. "sam! i'm sorry! maya wasn't letting me leave."

"thanks for coming, anyway. do you wanna sit down? i think this'll be a long discussion." violet sits next to sam, who was on a bench.

"i know you have questions..and you saw, right?" violet nodded. "so..ask away. i'll try my best to answer them." violet sighs. "why?"

"why? why what? i can't exactly answer if i don't know what you're asking, ari." false, sam knew exactly what she was asking. she just needed to hear it from her.

"why..do you do it? why do you hurt yourself?" ah, there it is. sam sighed, getting rid of all her fears. ari won't betray her, she loved her after all..right?

"because i feel guilty. responsible, even. it makes me feel something, even if it hurts. it's better than nothing." violet nods.

"can i see?" sam nodded as violet gently grabbed her arms and pulled her sleeves up, getting welcomed with bandages.

the white bandages were slightly bloody, making her wince a little. "sam, was this why you were avoiding everyone? even me?"

"..yes." sam pulled her arms back, pulling her sleeves down. "how long?" violet felt like crying, as sam looked away from her.

"three years." sam looked down. "what's her name?" sam doesn't answer, and that was when violet heard soft whimpers from the younger girl.

"sam? oh my god, i'm sorry..." violet hugged her, and sam only cries harder, sniffling and sobbing. "it's okay if you won't tell me."

"i-i'll tell you.." sam looks at her. "it's..it's tiffany..her name is tiffany..she saved me..it was supposed to be me..i was supposed to be the one.."

"unnie has always been there for me..she never deserved this..she never did..i-i don't understand, ari..why are people like this?"

"why do they have joy in causing torment to others? is it really so hard to love me? i just wanted someone to lean on.."

"i know, sam..i know..maya was so much like you..when our step mother entered our lives, we were like slaves..our father didn't care.."

"maya has always been the braver of us, she talked back a lot and juggled 3 part time jobs with aaliyah to feed us. when we saved enough, we moved out."

"but it wasn't easy, maya was thrown out the kitchen window quite literally and it messed up her shoulder, she loved baseball so we just let her play even if she should've given it up."

"we were all in a bad place, mentally. we all had to work multiple part time jobs to pay our tuition and rent, until our uncle took us."

"i remember when maya was in the worst mindset, she snapped and beat anyone who didn't agree with her, so we had to send her to anger management."

"at first, her and luna didn't get along since maya was like a gangster, or something like that. she was just really hotheaded."

"even if her shoulder was hurting badly, she played baseball and she went home, barely being able to move..it scared me so much.."

"summer was always away since she was sent to a boarding school before maya asked her to come back. aaliyah started seeing elise then, and at first, it was hard for us."

"i get what you feel, sam..i've felt like that at some point too. i tried too, and i was saved at the very last moment, and i swear i got mad because i didn't want to be saved."

"i remember maya and aaliyah bursting into my hospital room, and the first thing maya did to me was slap me." violet laughed.

"aaliyah was crying, and so was maya, and i guess that's what prompted her to change. it was a slow and painful one, but it was worth it."

"i know i'm rambling right now, but yeah..it took a lot for us to be happy, and i hope you know that i'm here for you. we all are."

sam hugged her, sobbing into her shoulder. "thank you, i needed this." violet nods, smiling. "always. i love you." sam buries her head into her neck, crying for a while. "i do too."

after the two had calm down, sam smiled at violet. "thank you for coming to see me." violet hums. "if that's all it takes for you to stop avoiding me, i'd be more than happy to see you."

"i'm sorry." violet laughs. "it's okay. please stop doing that though, it's worrying." sam nods. "i will. i'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"it's christmas break, of course you'll see me." sam nods. "well, i have to go now. i told maya i'd be quick." violet quickly tiptoes to kiss her properly.

"don't disappear on me, samantha. i love you."

"i won't, ari. i promise. thank you for listening to me and i love you too."