BBC Sherlock shit (thoughts, ideas and oneshots)

Teenage Rosie pt 2

Rosie held the laptop closer to her chest and let the tears stream down her face and fall onto the floor.

The door opened and Rosie looked up to see Sherlock. His face red, trying to hide the fact he was crying. Rosie knew he was doing that for her, and that made more tears rush from her eyes. She looked back down and he sat on the floor next to her, neither of them saying a thing. He pulled his knees up to his chest so he was in the same position as Rosie.

"Good job." Sherlock said, Rosie looked up at him, confused, "On the blog entry, umm, it's... amazing." He wiped a few tears out of his eyes and Rosie moved the laptop to the floor next to her and tried not to cry.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Rosie said, "Sherlock," he looked at her with his eyebrows raised, "Ummm... why have you ignored me?"

"I haven't been ignoring you." He stated.

"Yes you have," She said, raising her voice a little bit, "And I don't know why I even asked because I know! I know why you've been staying away from me! I know why you didn't come to his funeral! Because every time you close your eyes you see him die! I know Sherlock, I know..."

Sherlock couldn't hold back anymore. The tears rolled down his face and soon it was soaked, "You see it too?" He asked.

Rosie looked down and shook her head, moving to sit cross legged instead of the way Sherlock was sitting. "No..." She said, "Every time I close my eyes, I don't see him die.... I see you."

"You see me... You see me die?" Sherlock asked.

"No! I don't see that, I see... I see what this is doing to you, I see you breaking down, defeated without him... resorting to drugs.... you're so... empty..." Rosie said, with such a sadness in her voice Sherlock had never seen before, she'd seen her cry, but never heard her talk like this. She's always been strong, like her mother, that made Sherlock feel guiltier, he let both her parents die, she was an orphan because of him...

"...You can't even function without him, you get every little thing wrong, your mind palace collapses and you lose everything. And I lose the last hope I had left, that after this, things could go back to normal, you sitting in your chair solving cases and me helping when I could, even if it was without him...." Rosie closed her eyes harshly and didn't open them.

The thought of solving cases without John made them both feel queasy.

"You really have hope?" He asked, his voice cracking and barley coming out over a whisper. "Even after I let both your parents die? You're an orphan because of me."

"We both know there is nothing you could've done!" She shouted.

"Yes there was!" Sherlock snapped back.

"They both knew the risk, my mother saved you and neither of us saw the guy with the gun! It wasn't your fault!"

"John did..." Sherlock said, "Did you wonder why his gun slid across the floor? He was pulling it out when he got shot..."

Rosie and Sherlock both looked at the floor again.

"You know what makes me feel worse than seeing you every time I close my eyes?" Rosie said, looking anywhere around the room apart from Sherlock, "That I keep asking myself... Was it worth it? Would I rather have him die than you? And it's hurting me. Because I don't know the answer, and I know either way I'm not gonna like it."

Sherlock couldn't think of anything to say. He had been asking himself the same question but he knew the answer, he would rather die instead of John. If he could, he'd die a million times for John, and it wouldn't be enough to make up for this time. The time he failed...

"You know, I always thought you and dad were more than just friends." Rosie said, laughing a little bit, "He told me a million times, like he did with everyone, but I thought he was just... I don't know, maybe trying not to hurt my feelings. Maybe he was making sure I knew I had a family, and wasn't scared you two were gonna break up and ruin everything... But I guess I was wrong..."

Rosie chuckled a little bit and Sherlock realised something, all the pain, all the feelings, the times his stomach would do flips when he made John smile or laugh, the joy he felt whenever he was near. That's what it was, it was love.

"Oh no..." Sherlock whispered without thinking, "I'm in love with John Watson, and it's too late..."

Sherlock thought Rosie didn't hear him, but he was wrong. Rosie looked at the man she had looked up to her whole life for being emotionless, apart from the few times he had let go, and saw pure pain on his face, that only came from love. It was more than all the people coming in here after losing a spouse, friend, or even a child...

It was the feeling he was too late... Too late for John Watson... Too late to save him... Too late to even tell him how he felt...

She closed her eyes as hard as she could, trying to get as far away as possible from these emotions.

~~~~~~~

"Are you almost ready, Rosie?" She heard him shout from the kitchen, it was clear in his voice that he had been or is crying. She opened her eyes and looked at the black dress hanging on the back of her door.

"Almost, dad!" She replied, the voice that called on her wasn't Sherlock... she looked to her left and he was gone. Looked to her right and so was the laptop. She was in her own room. On the floor... without Sherlock...

It wasn't real... Sherlock was gone, not John...

Sherlock had died a week before, in an alleyway only a minute away from her school, while chasing a kidnapper. He was working with a whole group of people, and neither Sherlock or John knew. They shot Sherlock and ran. Hoping John wouldn't be able to catch up on his own. Or at least wouldn't want to, without Sherlock. Rosie had heard the familiar cry of her father and rushed to help, she was just walking home from school at the time, she saw Sherlock and her father crying next to him. She didn't even have time to cry, she phoned an ambulance and the police, specifically Lestrade and Molly. And they got there soon. They were both devastated when they saw the scene, John crying, still not noticing Rosie. Only focused on Sherlock and Rosie standing there, not even being able to take it all in. They got a few other people to examine the body because last time, Molly lied. He was dead, gone. Forever.

Rosie had imagined him, the whole scenario. All 2 months of her life, within the space of 2 hours. It was her coping mechanism, the answer to her question,

"Was it worth it?"

No.
But also yes. Because either way, it hurt just as hard. It hurt John just as much as it had hurt Sherlock.  And vice-versa. It also hurt Rosie equally as well. Because Sherlock's still her family. Because he's John's family...

The End