Etched

Chapter 37

Expectations. They hurt... a lot but at the same time they are the ones that help us keep going, wanting to wish for something to happen the way we had anticipated for it to only that we aren't sure if it would. Regardless we stay holding to the hope of its happening without paying attention to the otherwise situation.

Deception comes in hand with having expectations. They work neck to neck and even if the expectations aren't capable of giving the high, deception can throw one to the lowest. An expression so impactful that it may leave one questioning their belief and making them doubt their imagination.

It is almost impossible to not take one without awaiting the other. It's a part of life and as devastating as it is, it is hard to keep going without them.

I was sprawled on the floor, stoically gazing at the picture that was held in my grasp. Even with knowing nothing, it promised to have hiding tons of secret and stories that were kept from me by the people who I thought I mattered to.

I was endlessly observing the picture, at the bright smiles of Gabriel and Mia. There was pain that I felt looking at them, understanding the idea of never having to see them together ever and of how the glow from their beaming faces had been stolen. How they had been scraped to the soul heartlessly.

It was ruinous and it brought me inexplicable pain but what also partook in being a stab was the knowledge of having this hidden from me by someone very close to me.

My instincts wanted me to scan through all the other things that accompanied the picture in the diary but my conscience disapproved and that's what I abided by. All I could do was gaze at the smiling kids and think of what incidences can do to people. It can not only ruin someone's childhood but also every step that is taken from it further.

My chest felt like it was being pushed against by the emotions I felt. Looking at the picture only reminded me of the times I'd seen Jerdy gazing at his copy of it alone from the shoebox in his cupboard with repulsion and never having me see it even when I'd asked him to.

Had I not cleared all his stuff on the last visit back home I wouldn't have known that it was this picture that he was always looking at with detestation. Why did he have so much distaste for them though. What did they do to him?

I didn't want to assume anything on my own but still everything came reeling in front of me. The pictures, the stories and what not came in my mind and it was beyond my control. The diary lying in front me was only instigating me to peel it open and see for more myself but I didn't touch it.

This isn't my secret to unravel regardless of the multiple connections it seems to have with me, it still is a besieged locale where I wouldn't dare trespass without Gabriel's permission and if he doesn't want me to, it's still on him.

What has Jerdy to do with this all is my concern? My first thought tripped towards the area where I didn't want it to go and that's where it remained for a while. Jerdy was a part of my family for longer than anything and it wouldn't be fair at all if I let my mind divert to unholy things but it is impossible to not think it that way.

I was startled as to why and what did he know that made him so wry of these kids. They were so little back then and if it is about later then it must only be Gabriel who he must have grudges with, not Mia. Mia was already... I sighed shakily.

He is the kindest person I know and he isn't capable of any bad, I kept chiding to myself but everything so directly pointed at him, it was hard to remain optimistic. Sweat coated my hands and I let go of the picture, pressing my palm to my cold forehead.

He can't do something bad. He will never be a part of destroying someone's life and he wouldn't be the one to destruct Gabriel and Mia's life. He knew about Gabriel from me then why didn't he speak, why didn't he say that he also knew him from before? ... way before I did.