Don't Leave Me Here Alone

Chapter Fourteen

Adam stared at his reflection and huffed. He had no idea where Zachariah was taking him, and so he had no idea what to wear. So he had put on his vintage boots that he'd found in a thrift store, a pair of jeans, and a dark green t-shirt under his motorcycle jacket that he was slowly sewing more patches onto. He hoped he wasn't underdressed.

Excitement sat in his chest like a laugh he had yet to release. The corners of his mouth kept pulling up into a smile no matter how hard he tried to stop. A date with Zachariah Carnelian was more than anything he'd let himself imagine during the past two years.

A quiet knock sounded at the door. He was in Zachariah's room in Monmouth, having slept there again after the party.

"Come on in," he called, rubbing the back of his head.

Gansey smiled as he entered and threw himself onto the bed in a particularly un-Gansey-like way. "I'm so tired. Persephone only slept for perhaps an hour last night? And it was my turn to get up for her." He took his glasses off and lay across the bed, head hanging over the edge. "Were you okay here alone?"

Adam nodded. "Thanks for letting me crash again. The motel was starting to drive me crazy. The people next door kept having sex at three in the morning. Every night. Like they set their alarm to it."

"You should have just stayed here all week."

Adam shrugged and changed the subject. "It was weird sleeping here without you and Zachariah."

"Better than Dorian's house. So many women. So many." He groaned. "I am completely outnumbered. If not for Dorian, I'd be done for. But he's basically an honorary woman in that household. Even growing up with a sister didn't prepare me for that."

Adam grinned. "Maybe Persephone will be on your side."

"I don't think they'll allow it."

Adam laughed at that. "It's a hard life you're living, man."

"I know, I know. I'm being ridiculous." He smiled and examined Adam, head still hanging off the bed. "You look good. Really good. The boots are hot. Just wear a that t-shirt and jeans, though. Lose the jacket."

Adam frowned at that. "You sure the scars won't bother him?"

"They've never bothered him, Adam. The only thing that bothers him is how little you think of yourself."

Shrugging the motorcycle jacket off, Adam threw it back in his suitcase. He leaned into the cold mirror and watched his breath fog up the surface and hide his face.

"I'm nervous," he admitted in a small voice. "Really fucking nervous."

"Do you think..." Gansey paused and shifted on the bed until he was sitting upright. He gestured for Adam to sit down. "Don't get mad at me for asking, but are you sure this is the right thing for you?"

It was a chilling echo of the first time Zachariah had kissed him. Adam had gone straight to Gansey and asked his best friend about love. He didn't want to admit Gansey's response had hurt him, but it had. Even years later, with seventeen being a ghost of a memory, the words sometimes still ate away at Adam.

Don't break him, Adam.

Adam let himself fall down on the mattress and stared at the ceiling. "Did you ask Zachariah this?"

Gansey reluctantly shook his head, revealing far too much in the small gesture. Adam found that he wasn't mad at Gansey. Just tired. Just sad.

Gansey continued, his voice carefully controlled. "You were both so hurt after the break up, and you both finally seem to have rallied. I don't want—" he paused and swallowed. "I don't want either of you getting hurt again. It was hard to watch, Adam. It was very difficult to watch my two closest friends in so much pain and having no way to help them."