I look into the mirror
I pity myself.
Sensing this strong urge to hug myself.
I try to console me, pat my back and whisper
'everything is going to be okay'.
But 'me' refuses my consolation.
I stare right through my reflection
way beyond this veil I was wearing,
a little more,
right through the fake smiles, fake happiness,
everything fake.
There we go. Found 'me' in myself.
'This is the real me' I say, voice trembling,
terrified, what have I done to 'me'?.
Condition so pathetic. I break down.
How could I do this? I am sorry? No. sorries won't
mend 'me' back.
Regrets. Grief. Guilt. Shame. Contrition.
Wave of emotions strike hard.
.
I promised 'me' I'd take great
care of her but I failed.
I dig myself and all I can find is tiny fragments
of 'me' laying around.
Hastily , I dig deeper.
Evidences of me struggling
to keep herself together from falling.
Scratches of unfinished veils
and masks in the making.
Empty containers of sleeping pills.
Bare tins of concealer probably
to cover up dark circles.
Horrified. Scared. Numb struck.
Wave of emotions hit harder this time.
I am ashamed, I never discried her fakes
I never understood her woes.
I never felt her sorrows.
I never perceived her botherings.
I am ashamed, I failed to understand 'me'.
.
Out of the blue, everything in me screamed
'Valor. Self love. Boldness. Affection. Pity.'
Every nook and corner,
I dust.
Every fragment I muster,
giving my best.
All the veils and masks I burn.
Replace them with seeds
of true happiness and smiles.
All the self-loath and diffidence I smoulder.
Replace them with seeds
of self love and confidence.
All the war and conflict I fight
licensing peace and harmony.
I replace ashes with incense stick
of the scent self love and strength.
'This time, it is not a promise, rather
I am going to prove it to you' I convey me.
Now, I look into my reflection.
I pat myself 'you did it!'
Seeds of happy smiles sprouting.
Seeds of true joy and bliss flourishing.
'Me' smelled like the fragrance
of self acceptance
and the aroma of stength.
.
