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"U-umm... here you go." you pull out a cheap, black rollerball pen from your checkered-patterned green pencil case that the cloth were already worn out, hand extended to the girl seated ahead of you.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll return it back later." your random blonde haired classmate, Jiyo said, who have an audacity to blow her strawberry flavored gum for the teacher were too engrossed on the laptop to reprimand her, as she snatch the pen on your grasp and turn around to face in front again.

'She didn't even thank me.' you sighed in dismay, resting your chin atop of your palm, eyes locked on your wooden desk. 'Well, she's just talking to me whenever she needs something. What more could I expect...'

Along with the chatter of your classmates, the discussion of the lesson began to be drowned out from your ears as you get lost on your own pool of thoughts.

Using your free hand, you began to draw random anime doodles on the back portion of your notebook to pass some time. 'I can't wait for this day to end already.'

"...And that concludes it. That's all for today, class dismissed." your fussy mathematics teacher, Mrs. Kyoshi finally said those most awaited lines you've been dying to hear. "Make sure you jotted notes of the equations, especially the complicated ones."

She gathered all the things she used recently on the lesson in her arms, including the old laptop she owns, gingerly picking it up and strut out of the room without saying another word.

You slowly take the bookbag resting beside your chair, placing it on top of your table to stuff in your notebook, small stationery with worn out cover, and single pen.

Once they were securely packed inside, you drag the zipper to close it up before you sling the grey strap on your shoulder, and stand from your seat.

Hearing snickers to your left, you glance through the corner of your eyes to see that it's just the two of your female classmates, the stingy type in particular just like any of those overused bitchy antagonists in a cringy teen romance movie.

When they noticed that you were subtly staring at them, the black haired one raised her perfectly shaped but drawn eyebrow on you. "Hey, what are you lookin' at?"

Her mean gesture made you avert your gaze away elsewhere, dipping down your head as their obnoxious chuckle could be heard again and continue on their idle chat that includes the degradation of the 'lame' others that didn't pass up to their taste and standards.

Of course, you didn't fail to hear your name at the honorable mention.

You saunter towards the door, proceeding to leave the room and blend into the sea of Aoba Johsai's students littered and chattering all around the hallway.

Head still hanging low, you dodge over the lodging teenagers you passed to make your way out of the school gates in sheer silence, which you were successful of.

However, out of all those packed crowd of people, what saddens you the most is the fact that none of them even spare you a glance, as if you weren't existing there in the first place.

'What's new, anyway? It's been always like this everyday.'

Sighing in melancholy at the realization, you brush off those negative thoughts and continue on your walking-distance journey back to your house.

The other passerby students from the same school you go to, overtake you because of your slow pace of walking, laughing amongst themselves while talking about how great their day went.

Somewhat, seeing them so carefree and really happy like that with their group of friends made you very envious.

Whenever you see something like them, having the time of their life, it makes you keep wondering, when will the day come that you can also experience being carefree and feel the joy of enjoying life with her friends, just like any other normal teen in your age?

Your eyes drooped, head hung low and watching your feet make each of every small steps. There's nothing, but only gloominess that were hugging your whole being to accompany you like an old friend.

After the minutes of your slow tardy walk that consists of nothing but empty, pensive-filled thoughts clouding your mind, you finally reached the old front door of your humble home.

Twisting the knob and pushing the door open, the dimly lit hall of the house came into your sight. The only faint source of the light were coming from the opened entryway of living room.

You slip off your shopworn pair of black shoes and change on your house slippers. Cradling the bookbag to your chest, you meekly went in to see where the origin of sniggering voices are emanating from.

There in the velvet sofa, your jovial parents lodges themselves. Each were holding a fancy-looking glass containing a refined red liquid inside. A half-filled bottle of expensive wine sat on the coffee table with a faded varnish color over the years.

By chance, your mom's eyes happened to dart on your way. She perked up the slightest, the ginormous smile she had shrinks into a smaller one. "Oh... you're home, sweetie."

Your father followed her gaze, and once he acknowledged your presence, he revert it back again to your mom, acting like he didn't even see you standing there, as if you were just some sort of burnt garbage in his eyes as they continue to where they left their talk.

With a heavy heart, you loll down your head and look at the tiled floor in disappointment, biting your lip to keep your tears on hold. Squeezing your bag, you proceed to the end of the hall to where your room is.

Reaching for the rusty knob then twisting it and pushing open afterwards, the scarce light outside spilled into your lone dark room, illuminating it's plain layout and fading painted walls.

You toss your bag somewhere in the corner, and close the door. Wasting no more second to even bother to open the lights, you stagger towards your bed and collapse your tire out body on top of it.

The tears you were hardly trying to fought back couldn't be hold anymore as it freely fall down from your eyes. You lay flat on your stomach, face buried on your soft, fluffy cushions and weep there silently.

You were very tired, not just today but in everyday that God gives you to survive on. Both mentally and physically. Hell, even the word exhausted would be an utter understatement to say.

A stifled sob escaped you, doing it as subtle as you could to not alert your parents having the time of their life in joy on the living room, not knowing that their own daughter were already breaking apart as they rejoice.

Why not spill your problems to them? Why weren't you telling them all your pain? It's because you knew all too well how they'll take and handle the situation in their hands. Your mom and dad would simply brush you off, everything you'll tell them like it was nothing of some sort, saying you're just being too dramatic and acting whiny to get attention.

They will never understand you.

They never will.

All you wanted is someone who'll be there for you and tell you that everything's gonna be okay. That they'll stay with you and help you get through your problems and issues.

Someone who will understand your pain.

Why is it so hard to find someone like that?

As you dreamt of that person who will come and rescue, you didn't realize how you slowly began to doze off, crying your grieving and drained self into deep sleep.








SAFE AND SOUND, k. sugawara ✓Where stories live. Discover now